Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
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Top comments
green2go 14
That's a pain in the ass
DocBastard 40
Good luck healing your second asshole with a third asshole in the house.
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Comments (169)
rott3n 6
Drop that gauze in her my while she sleeps.
Missusluv313 9
I can't say what I would do to her when I got better, because it'll be against the rules. But I'm hoping that you'll heal and be pain free very soon. Siblings can really be bastards sometimes. That was a totally ****** up thing for her to do. Smh.
bryfer 2
Punch her in the face...
cheltond 4
You got your ass kicked!
nelliealexis 3
This pissed me off. Sorry OP. i would have jacked her inthe face.
8IamChris8 4
Make her lick it
zenrael 21
I would have punched her in the face. Like really? Wtf!!
thatKidzmOm 10
Honesty, if I couldn't do it myself, I would pay someone else to whip her ass. She deserves it. And if your parents didn't discipline her for that, they suck as parents.
RaizerBerry 3
Did you punch that bitch in the face?
kopeck_fml 1
FALCON PUNCH!!
NigerianMedicine 11
All this talk about beating your sister with your fists. Please, let's be civilized. Use a baseball bat.