Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
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Top comments
green2go 14
That's a pain in the ass
DocBastard 40
Good luck healing your second asshole with a third asshole in the house.
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Comments (169)
PhilMcHawk 7
Ooooh, FYL OP, damn. My girlfriend had a cyst on her tailbone a couple years ago when we first started dating, and she says reading this makes her scar hurt for you. Her and I agree, it's time for your sister to die, man. lol
mandyk5918 12
Omg I would of beat her up!!!!
AtomicRebirth 11
In response, you should punch her in the taco.
Bladeofarzeal 6
I feel your pain, OP. I had a similar case, got it removed last summer.
EvilDave 13
You should wait until she is asleep and the hit her with a frying pan.
thundercloud363 10
Pilonidal cyst? I have a pilonidal sinus and its the opposite of a cyst. It's a sinus tract on y tailbone area that leads to a gland near the coccyx bone. It sucks duck. Good luck!
spazzattack 0
Same thing happened to my cousin.. Twice. Apparently hers are cancerous and they keep multiplying so she has to get them removed every few months. Her sister smacks her butt after every time she gets home from the hospital. I feel really bad for the both of you. Feel better. xx
corex 1
ahh had the same, got operated and they had to cut so deep that i could see my tailbone not only took it a full year to recover, the next year it came back because the doctors where total dumbasses same surgery again, another year and also the laser-hair-removing theraphy on the fresh healed wound so that no little random ingrown hair could cause that infection ever again (... 2 years, a laser that is powerfull enough to make you bleed on some spots, damn that hurted, not to mention how it feels like to change the gauze every day because the wound has to heal from below...) and then.... there are people ... who joke about it... i would have thrown your sister out of the window :)
mhunter1990 3
ouch! same thing happens to me. I have reoccurring abscesses in my butt and people constantly forget and smack my butt all the time...
DumbAndYoung 30
I've never had a cyst, and I felt your pain. Your sister sounds like a pain in the ass!