Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML
Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
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Top comments
green2go 14
That's a pain in the ass
DocBastard 40
Good luck healing your second asshole with a third asshole in the house.
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Comments (169)
JPEllis 0
Turn around and kick her in the ******.
Donat96 20
I'm sorry to hear about that, Tyrion. :(
Neligee 9
Oh man ! By reading this I felt the pain !
traveler_ghost 12
Kick that bitch in the ******, or right in between the cheeks
TrailblazerSS 5
Your sister seems to have more of an asshole problem than you!
KiddNYC1O 22
Fart on her face when she least expect it since she loves your butt so much. Make sure it comes out bubbly...
Angelrose2004 17
How do you make a fart come out "bubbly"? Dish soap cocktail? Yummy!
agonydrum 7
What are you like 7 years old?
KiddNYC1O 22
45- I don't know. Like a shart I guess... 48- Close, I'm 26. =]
BellaBelle_fml 23
You can't exactly summon a 'bubbly' fart. They kind of sneak up on you like a ninja about to reveal their identity.
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeahhh, shh. I'm closing this thread.
hapy_pig098 13
Just drinks some milk and it'll come out smelly and bubbly ;D
laurenlovesjb 20
Wow she sounds like a loving, supportive sister that cares about your needs. Sorry OP! :(
LollipopDragon 4
Please tell me you're on some serious pain meds. Siblings suck. Mine slapped me after I got my wisdom teeth removed :P
CharresBarkrey 16
Ouch! Hopefully you were still numb from the procedure
doglover100 29
Kick her back.
cpucooler 4
I think your sister kicks ass.