George
Trust issues
Today, the only woman in my life who has been honest with me and will give me a straight answer is iPhone’s Siri. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
me
Richmond, United States
Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML
boo8713
Bell, United States
Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML
MikeA
Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML
hey Siri save me!
Meltdown
Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML
stopstutteringforSiri
United States
Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML
Anonymous
Suwanee, United States
Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML
nick
United States
Metaphorically speaking…
Today, I realized my iPhone is a reflection of my love and dating life. Every charger I have will charge my friends’ iPhones, pretty much everyone else’s… except mine. FML
Gale
Stay outta this
Today, I was having a heated argument with my boyfriend over the phone. Mid-sentence, I yelled, “You never listen to me!” Alexa, from across the room, replied, “I’m listening.” My boyfriend started laughing so hard that he hung up. FML
Alex
Jeffersonville, United States
No reply
Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML
anonymous
Kitchener, Canada
Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You must be very unlucky. I find many women who give me a straight-up NO right away. No way, not even close, hard pass.
poopface82 25
Welcome to the world. Siri is about the only person, man or woman, who will give you a straight answer, and even she either doesn’t know her shit half the time or is a corporate shill.
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Comments (3)
poopface82 25
Welcome to the world. Siri is about the only person, man or woman, who will give you a straight answer, and even she either doesn’t know her shit half the time or is a corporate shill.
RichardPencil 32
You must be very unlucky. I find many women who give me a straight-up NO right away. No way, not even close, hard pass.
Wadlaen 24
She's a keeper!😅