Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
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Top comments
btstig 11
The power of Christ compels you........ To clean that shit up!!
magymofucka 9
just go to a drugstore & take care of that shit yourself.
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Comments (127)
StEpHiE1226 12
Your mom was probably a ***** and is projecting on you op. fyl
Satoaoi 13
oooooo better get that checked man
GodlessGoddess 5
Religion strikes again! But anyways, next time just go to the pharmacy and get some monostat. Physicians and medicines are more helpful than religious nuts praying and screaming.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Just tell her that jesus visited you in the middle of the night and gave you an std. That ought to shut her up.
stunda 1
Yeah, tell her you slept with a Mexican named Jesus and he gave you an STD. And tell her that you didn't used to believe in the power of Jesus, but you do now.
JoleneDaniel 12
ok so most of you are not believers, but that doesn't give you a right to be disrespectful to those who are.
Needafarm 22
In this case the power of GOOGLE would have helped you find a better solution than an overly religious mother who believes that Jesus is the solution to a yeast infection.
wvcheesehead1 9
Maybe try to get a job at a bakery, you now have intimate knowledge of yeast.
svahrsrdacwby87 7
Go see your doctor. He or she can prescribe you cream or some pills to treat your yeast infection.
annoyingling 1
AMEN!
iceroyalty1984 14
Monistat works as well as the prescription. Get the 3 or 7 day ovules (cream can be difficult and one day isn't always enough to treat it) wear cotton underwear, eat sugar free YOGURT not cranberry juice and wash with unscented NONantibacterial soap. Change underwear frequently and see your doctor if the monistat does not work. If you're on an antibiotic do not stop taking it and see your doctor for alternate and stronger treatments.
akiahara 14
Cranberry juice is for urinary tract infections, guys.. Yogurt helps the native flora. Why go to a parent if they're crazy?