Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
karlcolt45 19
be proud of your stream, young Seabiscuit. it's really nothing to be embarrassed about
pepsi_ftw 13
You should have neighed. Awe well I hope you feel less self conscious :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
magymofucka 9
lmao, who cares? you'll never see them again anyway.
magymofucka 9
they shouldn't tho, lol. i don't think it's that serious.
HouseElf 13
This might be 1's weird way of giving advice I get super self conscious in public bathrooms too. Especially when there's only one other person 'cos whatever happens in there, they'll know it's you.
iRod_Touch 8
i'll never understand this fear girls have of peeing in public bathrooms.. lol.. girls should just be glad they don't have to deal with bathrooms as nasty as us guys :/
perdix 31
#1, actually, if she stays in the stall for awhile, she'll never see the person in the first place.
DerrickJames 33
I had similar issues. Not seeing the person that did this to you doesn't make us any less insecure next time we go in. We fear it may happen again, as it did to OP.
Takuya272727 16
#13, actually, I'm a guy and self conscious too when going to the bathroom. I've skipped if people were in there, or went to a more secluded, vacant one to do business in. I'm sure I'm not the only guy either who does. So it's not just girls.
PunkySpunky78 15
Yea unless they live in a small town
misslysiak 23
She may not see them again, but she will hear them sometime in the near future.
Darkmagic666 9
13, girl bathrooms can be disgusting too
mb2_native 15
32, I'm the same way. I look at using the bathroom to be private, not people trying make conversation or something. So done did that to me before and I felt like pissing on alot of toilet paper and throwing it over to the other one but never wanted to piss on my hands haha
sonuskos 6
Ahh i remember having to go to my first public restroom. A few guys were talking about how bad it stinked... Yep had to wait a bit before they left.
pepsi_ftw 13
You should have neighed. Awe well I hope you feel less self conscious :)
Cashtangoteam 10
OP must piss next to some weird people. I've never had any convo with the person I'm urinating around.
Harpy20 24
My friend's nickname for me was Jet Piss for the longest time...
dmoran20 27
Yep next few time you are in there I suggest humming rawhide, though humming mash when in a pinch is good also.
billyz77 24
Neighing would be good, 3, although I can't figure out how OP knew it was racehorse sounds and not regular horse sounds. Clue this city boy in - don't they sound the same?
zebrapattern 6
It's "aww". "Awe" is a completely different word.
Suaria 38
Don't worry I feel the same way except when I go number 2. I can't go unless there is no one else in the bathroom.
Cashtangoteam 10
Stage freight.
mjspoons 6
What exactly are racehorse noises?
Cashtangoteam 10
It's the William Tell Overture from 'A Clockwork Orange.'
Mister_Triangle 21
The same noises a regular horse makes, only with a tiny man on the back of them.
apinon246 3
I think it's because the expression "pee like a racehorse"
then000bster 16
Mr Fml guy, does the car go to a destination called wormhole? It must be a far out destination!
karlcolt45 19
be proud of your stream, young Seabiscuit. it's really nothing to be embarrassed about
JR_Goes_Rawr 11
Urine-considerate of others OP!! Learn to keep it down to not piss people off.
apollojon 11
If you aim at a 45 degree angle to the bowl it will trickle down the bowl. That wy the noise won't leak out of your cubicle.
WaywardDaughter 26
Girls can't aim the flow like that.
mendini 25
#49 Girls can if they try, when visiting China its something you must learn fast in my opinion.
muFilter 19
Don't let it bother you, OP. Just relax and go with the flow.
Solle 9
Sounds like a reason to come up with a stinging comeback.
littlemonster94 15
Who cares? Sweet relief! Let it flow!
foisted 6
who cares opinions are like assholes everyone has one.
billyz77 24
And most of them stink, 15.