anonymous
United States
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Possession
Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML
Sodapop40
"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
so scared
Barrie, Canada
Tubular Bells starts playing…
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Anonymous
Tucson, United States
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
Colby
Saint John, Canada
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
jkbeynon
Canyon Country, United States
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
Sigh
United States
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
ughh
United States
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
fanaticalfuckspawn
Santa Cruz, United States
Burn the witch!
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Top comments
Keyman1212 14
Oy Vey!
kidtoronto 5
lol ur mom is legit insane
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Comments (134)
Keyman1212 14
Oy Vey!
ColdplaySucks 18
If exorcism cured stupidity, she should get one too. Too bad it doesn't...
steierr 7
haha lol^^
iSitt 0
U verklempt!
ImAHomosexual 0
Coldplay. You can't cure stupid with an exorcism but you sure as hell can beat it out of her.
whybother8 0
the power of Christ compels you!
Big_Red_138 3
Tell her the power of Christ compells her and if she hisses and runs away then she needs one...otherwise a mental institution would suffice.
Big_Red_138 3
Aw darn now it seems like I'm copying whybother. Should have commented faster.
enonymous 9
Will there be cake at this bris? Do I have permission to have a +1?
FarSide 23
I'd rather have a circumcision again.
ollierobs 0
????? ??? ?? ?? ?????.
sadistmonkey 19
An exorcism can cure stupidity but only if it results in death.
Iamnotmyself 17
Although I believe in separation of church and state, hell, their needs to be a law protecting children from their parents if they have different beliefs or so... That being said I suggest the holy water treatment.
tona01 16
hey but i'm almost sure, that there is a jewish version of an exorcism
stro88 6
well you guys did kill Jesus, no offense.
Tadeusz_fml 5
'you guys' is a bit like blaming all Americans for Vietnam. One of Jesus' disciples betrayed him. And considering Jesus himself was Jewish, you should call it quits.
lilmisslovely13 15
What's an exorcism??
FarSide 23
@97: Or, I hear water-boarding can scare hell out of you....
FarSide 23
@127: Its like the process of exercise, but it weakens muscles instead or making them stronger.
CCrunner2 0
GET THE HOLY WATER!!!!!!!!
hklaubo 0
man. that sucks.
Awsumuzzie 12
No kidding?
HoBoJo62 0
lol
Civilianswilldie 0
don't post if all your going to say is "lol". it is a waste of time and space
EatnBeef 7
that the new trollface?
stephanie911_fml 0
Jewbacca.
fizzpoplady 3
Your jew fro will not save you from the demons!
kidtoronto 5
lol ur mom is legit insane
Lauren10102 3
says the panda pointing the guns?
daBeast155 0
yeah I thought you guys only used kung-Fu as a weapon
Jacobt24 19
What's with all the mom's being dumb in these recent FML's?
richard121212 0
HEY! pandas with guns are awesome, number 60!
Thelective_Lisp 5
Be happy, you're not Anne Frank.
babbu18 0
Ughh weird but yeah FYL being Jewish that stuff ain't right..... Is she full or just part Jew? Becuz if she was part, it still wouldn't make too much sense but it'd be better than being full Jew.
miniluda12 12
haha! im sorry):
instnt1nfction 17
I forgive you
summerhot_fml 2
what did you do!!
richard121212 0
burned down a cross and took a dump on it