Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
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Top comments
btstig 11
The power of Christ compels you........ To clean that shit up!!
magymofucka 9
just go to a drugstore & take care of that shit yourself.
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Comments (127)
rose1122 6
Calm your mom down and try to educate her. Also try to cut back on the sugar it really helps.
xRezSynn 15
Get to the pharmacy, your mom isn't one.
Frustrated78 11
WTF is your mom the same mom as Carrie? I just cannot understand why people these days are so stupid and ignorant about stuff like this.
TheMystery13 13
Holy ****, there is just NO escape from the destructive power of religion...
jambon43 1
agreed.
Phialvalve 6
******* religious zealots.
teentee401 37
I died as soon as I read "power of Jesus." And I'm a Christian!
strokesie 23
She makes it sound like there's so many more to come.
Ugi 27
I believe vinegar is good for yeast infections (a friend from the lab' once used glacial acetic acid - don't do that!) However, since it's been 10 months since this FML, hopefully you have this sorted out already, otherwise you will have turned into a brewery by now.
ApricotQueen 17
eat some yogurt