Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
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Top comments
btstig 11
The power of Christ compels you........ To clean that shit up!!
magymofucka 9
just go to a drugstore & take care of that shit yourself.
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Comments (127)
MuseFan1991 14
iv had this problem before, it is actual agony! drink loads of cranberry juice and get some antibioitics in you! also, having a wee after sex helps flush everything out (that's how i got mine). when i told my mum she called me a dirty stop out
CharresBarkrey 16
Antibiotics can CAUSE a yeast infection, they shouldn't be used to fix one.
katties 27
You had a urinary tract infection, most likely, not a yeast infection...
melons 44
I think you probably had a UTI, rather than a yeast infection.
MuseFan1991 14
my apologies! for some reason i had it in my head a yeast infection was cystitis, not thrush! yeah, stay away from cranberry juice OP :P
cutiepie292929 18
You dont need to have sex to have a yeast infection. I had it early in my life and you can get it from antibiotics which I did
Sputnikspak 13
You can get it from a ton of things. Antibiotics, other medications - I was put on the pill at 14 because I was anemic and have endo - they wanted to stop my periods, and you often get yeast infections on the pill. I also got one when I was 10 from swimming in a lake and sitting around in a wet bathing suit. You can even get them from wearing underwear that doesn't breathe properly - you want 100% cotton.
ShyAnn29 15
I always make sure my panties are 100% cotton!
buckdharma 38
Join a monistat and take some monastery 7 along. Huh?
loveashlley 6
Just no.
charvisioku 22
Is your name Carrie? ;)
VooDooCarrie91 19
Yes...yes it is.
upallnight11 19
I think it's just me, but I read it as 'today I got my very first erection'.
ShyAnn29 15
I think it's just you also!
melons 44
666, the number of the yeast.
Kalipczo 21
How annoying. I'm sure you're mom has had many yeast infections in her time. Just go to a drug store and buy monistat or something, I hear it's pretty cheap.
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't let the crazies drag you down.
GarageDragon 22
Just go to the pharmacy and get something over the counter. Most women get a yeast infection at some point. Next time your mom gets one tell her to pray it away instead of putting her faith in science and modern medicine.
Socks91 16
You poor thing. Go to the drug store and get something to help. If they recommend going to the doctors, see if another family member can accompany you.