Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
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Top comments
btstig 11
The power of Christ compels you........ To clean that shit up!!
magymofucka 9
just go to a drugstore & take care of that shit yourself.
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Comments (127)
btstig 11
The power of Christ compels you........ To clean that shit up!!
DerrickJames 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Jesus gave her a yeast infection to fend all men off!
JR_Goes_Rawr 11
#15 Except bakers.
enbliss 10
religious nuts, what can you do.....
ManInTheMachine 20
22: Master bakers.
dmoran20 27
Give them a bible.? They have been confused for the last 2k years. What's another 2k?
jarrettd 27
At yeast the op knows the truth. Yaaa... No ok
brenkite 5
A clean beaver gets the wood!
apollojon 11
More buns for the baking :)
raesos91 26
ha! but now's not the time to butter her biscuit. xP
OriginalimoaN 15
Only Jesus, can prevent stds.
dmoran20 27
Yeah, to bad he doesn't prevent some from breeding :-/
Meshidaru_fml 7
I think that in 2013, we have to stop with this old stuff like religions.
Laurenlou 24
88- Even the secular year system is based off of Jesus. It has been 2013 years since Jesus was born. BC stands for before Christ, and AD stands for some Latin phrase meaning "the time of our Lord." Just because there are a few "religious nuts" doesn't mean that anyone should condem other beliefs. You choose to not believe in any type of religion, and thats just fine, but you'd have to nuke the world to get rid of religions.
Sandman366 6
90- Unfortunately, some PC jerks made it so you can use "BCE" (before common era) and "CE". Though BC&AD should be used to respect religion even if it isn't your own (unless you want to piss them off, in which case, whatever god(s) you pray to, help you).
kingbrizo 24
that Latin phrase is "Anno Domini"
Laurenlou 24
103- Thank you!
Phialvalve 6
90, wrong there is already another term set, science uses BCE - Before Common Era and CE - Common Era. As the saying goes "If it aint broke don't fix it." the calendar "aint broke" however, religion is.
JoleneDaniel 12
123... don't talk about what you don't know.
magymofucka 9
just go to a drugstore & take care of that shit yourself.
dmoran20 27
Still haven't figured out why you can buy a 1 day, 5 day or 7 day treatment cream... I mean seriously, who says ahhhh think I'll keep mine for 7 days even though I can clear it up in 1....
taranpreet 7
Sometimes 1 day creams are really harsh. And can cause major burning and irritation.
Gutafaerie 2
They are all made with different medicine. Not all work well for some women.
dmoran20 27
And that's what I get for asking....
Enslaved 38
The one day treatment is very concentrated and designed to stay inside the women for 7 days. It can be very harsh and irritate some. (I also believe it cost much more) Now they make a pill to clear it up. Why do a messy cream vs a pill?
VooDooCarrie91 19
They have suppositories for yeast infections. There's three, once a night and you're good. But you should go to the doctor and confirm that it's not something more serious. Good luck OP.
dmoran20 27
Today I learned a very important lesson. Some questions a better left unasked....
Sputnikspak 13
Yeast infection treatments are 1, 3, 5 and 7 day doses, depending on the brand. All that changes is the potency of the medication - nothing else. If you're sensitive to meds or skin cream, you probably want the 5 or 7 day kind, it's less likely to irritate. If you have a mild infection, 3 days is probably fine. Of course, if it doesn't go away, you need to go see your doctor.
outoftown 27
56 - Because the pill kills gut yeast also, it's a last resort. You can get gas, cramping, and diarrhea on top of your itching and burning. :(
Sputnikspak 13
I don't think you can get the pill OTC where I live. Pretty sure you only get it after you try suppositories/cream.
TheElBurrrito 21
See what you brought upon yourself, #47?
tckm1699 7
Not everyone has a car to drive to the drugstore
karlcolt45 19
well that escalated quickly
Raykyogrou03 12
I suppose that she thinks that Jezus gave her a yeast infection.
muFilter 19
The Immaculate Infection?
dmoran20 27
Sarcasm, eluding some people for over 6k years...
cheshireau 26
Maybe just go to your doctor next time.
A100893 30
She sounds like a nutty lady.
klovemachine 24
Maybe OP's mom was a **** in her high school days :-O
littlemonster94 15
That's why I try and avoid those issues with my mom and go to someone who's going to be professional about it