Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
Today, on the way to class, I got distracted while watching some ducks and walked face-first into a concrete pole. I ended up with a black eye and three stitches. Even the nurse laughed. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
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Top comments
DjMonroe95 11
I bet the cat got your tongue after that one.
Snowkeys 11
You gotta be kitten me. Did you fall on a box of angry abandoned kittens?
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Comments (110)
Futacy 30
It's the grumpy cat and his children, and they've come for your tounge.
angelitared 27
Naughty kittens. You shall have no pie!
clevercake 21
well no one will believe you got mauled my kittens, so at least you can come up with a cool story as to how it could have happened!
AnimeBitch 14
Omg. You did. Yes.
BlueMoonCafe 12
Where were you that there were wild kittens and what were you doing to provoke their attack?
vballgirly28 16
Umm how did this happen? And plus kittens can be very dangerous if provoked......I guess
Martinez0285 28
especially if you provoke them with a bum :)
ShakeDisPlace 10
Well meow you know how dangerous kittens are OP.
Latino_Nino 10
That is really disappointing. Sorry to hear you got beat up by kittens, you pussy.
baseballdude1283 18
That's why you say they were tiger kittens....not domestic kittens
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Actually it shouldn't matter if they were kittens or worms. OP was in a hospital and in hospitals they have rules. And one of the number one rules is to protect patients privacy and personal information. This is called HIPPA. It doesn't matter how funny or ridiculous it is to the staff at the hospital, they had no right to tell other staff members or make fun of the OP for what happened. It seems like those staff members need to retake a course on HIPPA and patient privacy so that something like this doesn't happen again. I use to work at a hospital so I know how brutally rude and disrespectful some nurses can be. Laughing at patients problems and making fun of others as soon as they leave. It's disgusting. Hospital staff members are suppose to have compassion and protect patients private issues and information. Sorry OP. I hope that you reported those nurses because they always seem to get away with doing things like that all the time. Hope you're feeling better .
TheNewGuy03 29
A purrfect crime.
ILoveMyArm 15
More like a catastrophe.
graceinsheepwear 34
Were you dragging toilet paper, ahem, behind you?