Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was feeling really sick when I was with my boyfriend at the park. When we were walking, I got really dizzy and collapsed. My boyfriend didn't catch me. His mom took me to the hospital. While I was being poked with needles, he was at home playing COD. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML
Today, after a three day hospitalization, four weeks of a new heart med, no alcohol and no caffeine, my heart rhythm was finally back on track. That is until some a-hole teens decided that banging loudly on my door and running away was hilarious. Oh well, back to square one. FML
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
I didn't know Tennessee people were smart enough to operate a Xbox.
skittleface 0
Hey! I've had one of those... My mom told me I looked like Robo-Cop. ]: I feel your pain.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
allmidnighteyes 11
I didn't know Tennessee people were smart enough to operate a Xbox.
flying_vegan 0
They're not, he meant egg box.
MireKrisma 0
It can go either way. Grammar says "a Xbox", but phonetically it's "an Xbox" because the "X" is pronounced "ecks". Too much grammar policing. :p
killerviral 0
no they meant unatractive sex box lol
Littlemuffinbox 6
Ahah, I love all these Tenessee jokes :P
shankzilla 0
how about you dont leave the house with a heart monitor attached to yourself, you idiot.
xCrackerx 3
Who are you to wave your finger? Maybe she needs it.
mister_moops 0
i think what he was getting at was, she should stay home.
djack0113 0
How about if she didn't, her heart might stop, she would have no idea what was happening, and die?
alexandraa_fml 0
You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop,.. the Twilight Zone. This.. makes no sense. An unnatractive xbox? What kind of insult is that?
allmidnighteyes 11
A TEN-UH-SAY EN-SULT
neonokku 0
YAY FOR #5
yellowman57 13
Why the **** are you, a damn hippy!!
skittleface 0
Hey! I've had one of those... My mom told me I looked like Robo-Cop. ]: I feel your pain.
bugmenotmofo 34
Wouldn't you look more like Weapon X?
skittleface 0
I was hoping so. Robo-cop is significantly less cool han Weapon X.
laniparis 13
Yeah, I get to have one for a week every year. I call it my bling :)
maplebaby 0
Aww, that sucks. I'm sorry, my little brother has to wear one of those from time to time, i can't even imagine. i hope there's nothing seriously wrong :(
Antivirus_fml 0
They called you an xbox, be happy, i would've called you a Dickbox. :p
f_alltheirlives 3
HAHAHAHAH But yeah do you need it to stay a(xbox)live?
tekcor 2
That's quite an insult, the xbox isn't worth a dime. It does one thing well: look pretty, and if you don't have that... well then you've got a plastic box of doom.
Peroxide 3
Watch out for the red ring of death.
allmidnighteyes 11
pretty sure we call that a period.
blastvortex 4
People in Tennessee own Xboxes? I would've thought that they'd be too busy trying to pay off their trailer loans. Ayup, ayup.
ZleveL 0
LOL I love all these Tennessee jokes :D