Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML
Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML
Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
spinningrecords 14
Throw a toaster in while he is taking a bath. Seems fair.
tiptoppc 21
It’s gotta be an eye-opening retaliation. Sort of a “Come To Jesus” moment, quite literally!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
spinningrecords 14
Throw a toaster in while he is taking a bath. Seems fair.
tiptoppc 21
It’s gotta be an eye-opening retaliation. Sort of a “Come To Jesus” moment, quite literally!
tiptoppc 21
Turns out, the roommate is the dick to the party, not the OP’s member!
Wyoming25 3
That is going to be hard the deal with.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Or a deal to hard with.
Wyoming25 3
That is going to be hard the deal with.
RichardPencil 32
Your roommate was right -- that was funny!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
There are more subtle ways your roommate could have told you he thinks you need to get more pussy. In all seriousness, that is totally uncool. I'd suggest doing the same thing to him, but the cat doesn't deserve to suffer.