Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
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Top comments
titenite88 0
at least somebody pulls over to talk on their cell phone.....
annanonomus 0
I'm sorry OP. Did you explain that to the cop?
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Comments (92)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I initially read this as "... hospital my sister was giving birth TO." Oops. >.<
FFML_314 12
Forgive me for this 'going to be' highly cliche and irritating comment and practically everything that I hate, LOL. Janey, where have you been all my life?! You sexy beast!
FFML_314 12
I know I know! I can't help that I'm turned on by the firey red hair and those AWESOME glasses. Hush, you know you're thinking the same thing I am.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Thanks! :D My glasses have zebra detail on the sides, too. I *heart* them.
perdix 31
YDI for living a life of crime and incest!
LittleMissShani 0
ummm 35 you make no sense...his sisters having a kid, doesn't mean it's his...
kile88 2
I'm quite sure 35 is actually joking.
perdix 31
LittleMissShani, kile88 is mostly right. I'm joking, but I am also exploring a theory of why it was so urgent for the OP to rush to the hospital to be with his sister. Sure, it would be nice for the brother to support her, but a delivery room is not a theater that can accommodate an unlimited number of spectators. Surely, the biological father would be the first person who gets to watch the show. See where I'm going with this?
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Maybe the biological father is a deployed soldier, or a one night stand, or squeamish about hospitals and the OP was the only real support she had. The poor OP probably just wanted to see his new niece/nephew and would be more than happy to wait in the lobby.
RedPillSucks 33
The brother was suppose to take pictures of the delivery to send to the soldier hubby. Clearly this would have been the only vag he'll see for a long time. Brother had to screw it up with a side trip to knock off some store for small change. No vag for you this month, soldier boy.
adidjo 0
Hope you're Caucasian :-)
Pro_Nothing 9
That sucks. Fyl but now you have a great story to be told
DineshKarthikesu 0
None of this would have happened if your sister had swallowed.
Justincolon22 15
should have went somewhere else fyl.
Lushhhhhh 0
It's 2010, get a cellphone!
rofflewaffle 9
And use it while driving? OP probably DID have a cell phone and just isn't stupid enough to try to talk and drive while in an unfamiliar area.
sourgirl101 29
I know hospitals can get cold but did you really need to wear that ski mask?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
"Congrats, sis! Here, I brought you a king-size Snickers, a carton of cigarettes, three quarts of motor oil, and a Slurpee machine!"
sourgirl101 29
Jane!!! Where were you last night? We had to drink your share since you were a no show.(:
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lulz. Yeah, I saw that. I was out with my hubs and bubs to see Resident Evil. Ironically, I was the DD. :)
HeretoBlame 3
Cops can be a pain sometimes. Maybe you're appearance said "Hey look at me I robbed a store"...