Today, in a bar, I had to remind my brother that the bar was not open to the public, it was booked for a private party. Our family reunion in fact, so the girl he was “this close to pulling” was actually our Welsh cousin we’d never met before. He almost became a redneck stereotype. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML
Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML
Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend’s family dinner when her father suddenly raised a glass and said, “Let’s all raise a toast to the new couple!” I looked at my girlfriend, confused, only to realize he meant her brother and his now fiancé, who had just announced their engagement an hour earlier. I quickly but awkwardly raised my glass to avoid admitting my memory is dogshit. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Well, as long as they don't breed... But I imagine her version of things includes the word 'creep', 'won't take no for an answer' and 'help! Get me out of here!'
BurnInDemonFire 39
He can try and pull her if he wants. First cousins can marry and have a family in the UK. Not that he's guaranteed to win her heart.
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Comments (3)
FluffythePink 23
Well, as long as they don't breed... But I imagine her version of things includes the word 'creep', 'won't take no for an answer' and 'help! Get me out of here!'
BurnInDemonFire 39
He can try and pull her if he wants. First cousins can marry and have a family in the UK. Not that he's guaranteed to win her heart.
roryab 8
that explains the teeth stereotype. The people from alabama have the same teeth problem, and you know what they say about alabama, right? there's twelve million people and only 12 last names.
sirrubberduckie 37
Most rednecks try to hook up with a distant Welsh cousin they've never met before? That's a crazy stereotype!