Ironic, isn't it?

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

That's a mother

Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in The Bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML

No jokes allowed

Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "Vegan food doesn't contain calories," and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously, and was therefore a moron. FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML

Hypocrisy

Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML