Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Today, I was changing a flat tire on my car when it fell off the jack and crushed my hand. After ripping my hand free and waiting 2 hours for AAA, I get to go find out if my hand is broken. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I was doing my laundry when I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stupidirish 0
you sound like a darwin award winner. if you don't know what that is, google it and you'll see exactly what i mean. OP: please do not reproduce.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Here are three.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
xCaseyx 0
Annnddd how old are you? howd the car even get in there?
marc_with_a_c 3
Plastic car? Did you even consider smashing it to pieces with a hammer? Seriously..
ruby84 1
WOW maybe you need manual to follow as to how to use your appliances.
Jimboom 12
You do know your supposed to turn the dryer off when you stick your head in it right?
akkimber 0
isn't there usually a stop button on dryers? YDI dumbass.
GinandJenkem 0
Fakered.
earthbum19 0
quite possibly the worst and most inane comments yet.
Bro_Namath 0
Figures. Canadians are dumber than the average human. Honestly, I don't see any truth in this FML since most dryers now-a-days have an auto-stop function when the door opens. So, if you managed to do all this, you really are a worthless individual.
hinkypunk_666 0
#61 First of all, I just live in Canada, I'm not Canadian. and the dryer was turned off, the car was in the dust compartment, and I did try taking it apart first but it wouldn't budge. So, if you are so quick to judge strangers, you really are a worthless individual.
cindayy77 0
I have a Canadian friend, sure she doesn't have as much expectations in her school as us Americans do, but she is smart...
MagicalPegicorn 0
what did you do? slap it with ur nails?
TailsThePrower71 4
Leave BummbleBee alone! He was making sweet love to the dryer!