Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Today, I was changing a flat tire on my car when it fell off the jack and crushed my hand. After ripping my hand free and waiting 2 hours for AAA, I get to go find out if my hand is broken. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, I was doing my laundry when I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
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Top comments
stupidirish 0
you sound like a darwin award winner. if you don't know what that is, google it and you'll see exactly what i mean. OP: please do not reproduce.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Here are three.
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Comments (128)
lubby_fml 0
two words!
ImaginaryFoe 1
Here are three.
ipts 0
FAKE!!!
george456 0
I guess the drier won.
78euge781995 0
but it died in the process of wining.
78euge781995 0
I meant to say winning.
MyStarrz 0
They both lost .....Hot wheels/Mighty machines FTW!!
MyStarrz 0
And this was a handicap fight .....YDI both for trying 2 gang up on that lil car ....betchu didnt kno it was a ninja?? ...u do now dont ya buddy
MidgetMonster 0
what'd this moron do, tumble around inside?
guyy22 0
ha
colomexparra 0
dumb ass... its called turning the dryer off first
AndreaHaha 0
Who gets in a fight with the dryer wooow
lubby_fml 0
HANG ON.....what do your posts have anything to do with mine? Only foe had something to do with my glorious first post... Where is Sirin when you need her. >_>
Sirin_fml 47
Just arriving, as it happens!
DerangedFox 0
I'm sorry to say, but people will always reply to the first comment. It's a fact of the FML website whether we like it or not.
DerangedFox 0
Looks like it's been taken care of =)
DaHouz 0
+1 http://tinyurl.com/yz7dyfs/hayley/index.php?id=fcca1e82c783fec5c383e8dec4d7e75d
susieKiute 0
ive gotten into fights with appliences before too....they have always won :-/ haha
z620 0
round two anyone?
u_killed_kenny_ 0
how do you loose a fight with an inanimate object?
pedobearsstalker 0
sirin I have a suggestion people post on thr first comment to be up top if you create a seperate page for comments on the comments, it could eliminate the problem with irrelevant replies
Sirin_fml 47
@106: Hi there. It's a good idea, and we're toying with several, such as collapsable comment threads, both to avoid the thread jacking problem, and to make it easier for mobile users to comb through the comments as a whole. I'm not directly responsible for all of that though, but it's in discussion, I can assure you :)
Flinlock 0
Next time, try turning the dryer off first. That should help.
Jessi_Rose96 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh my God, I broke a nail!!! *gasp* Get over it.
anastasia911 0
that's really mean. like if u know how much pain it is to have a nail broken.. maybe she got it broken all the way to the meat and that hurts like hell
SeasonalAffair 0
Wow I don't think that's the point. I mean did you not read this? Her face us bruised and she's bleeding something like that happens to you and we'll say get over it:)
ilovebradiew 0
i agree actual does hurt so much if u break a nail
ImaginaryFoe 1
Not to mention the broken dryer which can be expensive to fix or replace.
Jrook 0
yeah but how the he'll does this even happen? I think pain follows idiots around
dumbhaters 0
this chick is an ugly **** who has nothing but negative and pessimistic things to say.
namezox 0
Jessi_Rose96, another example of "ugly people with ugly personality".
rohosoccer08 1
I used to wonder what was so bad about breaking a nail too, until I got some and was playing football with my friend, yes i'm a girl, but the ball got caught in the tree and I jumped to grab it and my nail caught in the bark and ripped off... I felt really dumb cuz I started crying but that really does hurt!
xxkiwixx5623_fml 0
Ah yes but her hand is also bleeding profusely by the sound of it, and the car has f*cked up her washing machine. I imagine if you were in that situation you would not be able to 'get over it' when you would have to go to the ER and pay to get the washing machine fixed.
MF12 0
I hate this girl.
TurtleHabitat 0
i don't think breaking a nail hurts as much as seeing this ladies face. gives me the chills.
paigeatsflesh 11
I don't understand it /:
toxic10uhc 0
2 is hideous ughh
sugarbabyxoxo 2
#2... your sick Bahahah
everydayisfml07 3
just saying, "lol". I mean I thought I was ugly until I looked at Jessie-rose's picture; then my skeleton left my body as I cringed, then i just started laughing my ass off. :-/
Jessi_Rose96 0
Nice to know that people ARE as shallow as they seem. Glad picking on a 14 year old girl makes you feel better, and btw? Sarcasm. Wow, and I thought there were actually smart people on this world. Silly me! :)
pedobearsstalker 0
#2's face makes me want to cut out my eyeballs with a marble
erinoty 0
Except you were the one being a bitch in the first place. I guess being 14 gives you, and only you, that right, huh? Also, everyone knows what sarcasm is. Jesus.
Sniper3000 0
jessi stfu u know u were being serious.
GodessOfNarcotic 0
# 94 ;; "Glad picking on a 14 year old girl makes you feel better" no one cares that you're 14 you little twat. If you can't handle criticism you probably shouldn't post things on here, or anywere. Grow the **** up, by the way you are really ugly. Your earlier comment was rude "Oh my God, I broke a nail!!! *gasp* Get over it." So obviously people were being rude back. Grow the **** up, people like you give teenagers like me a bad name [thanks for that ;) ]. Get over yourself. Serously.
Floormatt 0
you tell her. Today, i was sarcastic and a bitch and ppl were mean to me about it. FML??
GodessOfNarcotic 0
Yeah man, people like that piss me off. Little girls that think they're better than everyone else. Makes me wanna puke.
cindayy77 0
Brat... breaking a nail actually does hurt at times
stupidirish 0
you sound like a darwin award winner. if you don't know what that is, google it and you'll see exactly what i mean. OP: please do not reproduce.
jayjaysmokerson 0
pretty sure they already did, hence the little toy car.
rohosoccer08 1
it could be her kids favorite toy, not to mention the fact thst she needed to remove it so it didn't break the dryer, which it ended up doing in the process anyway
Rustbin 0
You kind of deserve it for giving up. Victory or.. death!
ImaginaryFoe 1
This is LAUNDRY!!!
aznpersuasion863 0
haha 300 reference win
MyStarrz 0
lmmaoo @ 15 made my day and it just started "TONITE WE FOLD IN HELL!!!"
screwballjtw 0
win!
fylrofl 0
how did the car end up in the dryer? jw...
rodstayposted 0
to quote the great red Forman from that 70's show, "DUMBASS"
ipts 0
ahhahah who names their kid red any how?
SeedlessMe 13
Red is a nickname.. His name is Reginald heehee, sorry, I watch Way too much TV!
KurouTenshi 0
I ******* love That 70s Show <3 IMO it's the best show ever :)
rodstayposted 0
I kno right?
Person1233 13
andnumb... L2SpaceBar.
ilovebradiew 0
you should've just turned off the dryer then take the toy car out :S
hinkypunk_666 0
it was off obviously, my little brother dropped it into the duct where the fuss goes and if I didn't get it out it could've started a fire.
perdix 31
At least you fought it to a draw! You make humanity proud for showing you our race's dominion over technology. . . or just being able to **** it up more than it ****** you up, by a slim margin.
alex_vik 1
I'm confused as to what happened. Is the OP mentally challenged or something?
alh527 1
yeah I was wondering the same thing cuz when I open my dryer it stops so how the heck did the op get hurt?
MyStarrz 0
it could hav stopped running but i've seen numerous simpletons hurt themselves upon stationary objects .....she prob wus using alot of force thrashing it about thus breaking a nail an possibly bussing herself in the facee lmaoo "bussing in the face" (peter griffin laugh)
hinkypunk_666 0
it was off, my brother dropped his car into the duct at the front where the fuzz guard thing goes, and it can start a fire, plus my little brother loves that car and I didn't want him to get stuck or hurt.
mahamii_93 0
ouchh that's gotta hurt