Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML
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Top comments
williamcarter93 13
Poor OP. Sorry your wife had to die so relatively early.
Larawk 8
Tweet his number. I'm sure you could get a bunch of kids to prank call him. Revenge is sweet
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Comments (135)
MidnaLink 35
I sorta know how you feel. My friends MOM died a few years ago, and barely even a week after he cane back to school, some ******** actually tried to pull this joke... Idiot "Do you know your gay?" Friend "No." Idiot "Does your mom know she's gay?" If we weren't in class at this time, the idiot would've had his ass handed to him on a silver platter.
twinny_sc 13
I don't get the joke.
PYLrulz 17
If I was a teacher, and heard that, I'd give your friend a baseball bat, then "pretend I never saw anything"
MidnaLink 35
thank you 59 42 the aforementioned idiot basically disrespected my friends mom immediately after she died.
Shadow_Blues 10
No wonder he suspected his fiancee of cheating on him, the guy's an asshole! xD And that is quite possible the worst one-liner I've ever heard stammered from a guy that backed himself into a corner like that. Damn.
xxjenn27xx 8
Aw im sorry op! I feel so bad
Gorquess 6
He Was Disrespectful But Karma Does Come Around Remember That So One Day He Will Get His
gantoman 13
Caps Aren's Necessary On Every ******* Word
SciFiFanatic 3
You do not capitalize the first letter of every word in a sentence unless it's a title!
MiloBear 11
Karma already got to him, his fiancee is sleeping around.
worldclassrager 41
at least he realized he got the wrong number and did not actually have the chance to kill you...so there is a sliver lining to that...
THE_A_TEEN 28
I can't believe I have to share oxygen with this asshole.
emtman 6
Who would vote that OP deserved it? That's bs in my opinion.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Dicks, Roger the alien, Mickey Mouse, Ash Ketchum, etc.
PYLrulz 17
Wow. May that asshole get raped by a red hot poker iron. Some people should just vanish for all I care
MyWorldAway 0
im sorry about your wife. I can see why she would cheat since he is not only.an idiot but rude as well. she'll leave him.
SooperSuper 2
Wow. This ****** generation sucks..
NoBuenoLeno 9
Our generation doesn't suck, just a few common morons.
cristy91 33
Every generation says that. I'm pretty sure the moment people were able to reason they concluded that others suck.
SooperSuper 2
Others suck :p