Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Freakout
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Place in the world fades away
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Spiderman meme
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML
Doubling down
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML
Top comments
williamcarter93 13
Poor OP. Sorry your wife had to die so relatively early.
Larawk 8
Tweet his number. I'm sure you could get a bunch of kids to prank call him. Revenge is sweet
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
lexiieeex3 32
So sorry OP. The guy's a dick.
lowercaseG 13
What a douche.
AKPILOT 3
I'm sorry to hear OP..
AerBear115 15
You uh need to get laid. I'm sorry about your wife:(:(
Garangatang 2
m
THE_A_TEEN 28
Sesame street has also been brought to you by the letter 7.
pcentral 17
Young people these days... Tsk tsk
surfergirl72 7
I'm so sorry for your loss and for having to deal with that POS. Karma takes her time, but she's worth it!
outoftown 27
Sympathies, OP. Hard enough to deal with loss without an out-of-the-blue crazy calling like this.
NoBuenoLeno 9
The caller and Bill O'rielly are contestants for the ultimate asshole award.
tamgibbo 5
Awww, thats terrible.. People like that are assholes to begin with... No wonder his gf fooled around on him... But, They both deserve one another...