Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
Name the baby after him. Then it's all good.
TheRealHouse 7
Just apologize and explain that you usually cum on her face but you decided to try something different. He will understand.
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Comments (156)
wriptidez 0
he is mentally ill and never let go.
njgohard 16
Get him to a retirement home. NAO.
obviousboy 8
Well. I mean, you did. :P
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
in-laws, gotta love em'
Human_Delilah 0
rhysfucker 24
OP, you have to let us know how thanksgiving and Christmas / Hannuka are until the kid is born. conrats on the pregnancy, though!
rattusrattus 19
This is definatly one of those FMLs you wish had a 'follow up' on. We need juicy details! And indeed, congrats on your impending baby(ies).
sandmancometh 3
He doesn't like you much. Take him fishing and take lots of beer.
bettyc4 26
don't mess with daddy's lil girl
foxhole 3
nice description ya got!
ScOrPiOnloool 6
sucks !!!
perdix 31
He's still sore that you rescued your wife from his molestation.