Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
Name the baby after him. Then it's all good.
TheRealHouse 7
Just apologize and explain that you usually cum on her face but you decided to try something different. He will understand.
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Comments (156)
coltsrock37 15
this is when you tell him she's having triplets
DjeePee 25
Hmm, I have a slight feeling that he doesn't like you as his son-in-law.
DjeePee 25
Oops, my first comment did came through. The mods may remove this two.
canzonetta 16
And IS the man your wife's father?
Yogo_fml 7
Yes Sherlock
Runninvegan 8
whata bitch. Describe the conception to him in full detail to shut him up.
Msadd 0
It would be funny if you had twins
DudeBTM 8
Ahh, in laws...gotta hate them.
shanny892 5
does he know your married lol
atroxletum 6
*Does *you're *laugh out loud
hiyourcute 0
I'm all for good grammar, but this is ******* ridiculous...
hiyourcute 0
I'm all for good grammar, but this is ******* ridiculous...
je_suis_fml 11
64- Dude, who the **** spells out "lol"?? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose? fyl
iBiteRoses 22
Troll.
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Tell him he's a horrible father/grandfather and castrate him. Can't go wrong with castration.
famesetmatch1234 0
?????? ??????? ???????? ´???
imosim 0
castrate? too far lol just be like what are you going to do about it then talk about all the dirty things u do with her ( or make em up )
lmaoatall 6
has he ever given you a lie detector test Focker? should have been a warning to you!
lmaoatall 6
haaa- I just noticed the op's name. Harry. that would make him Harry Focker!
Mekeritrig 15
Tell him to get help with his unhealthy obsession over his daughter.