Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML
Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Fx13mz 7
Name the baby after him. Then it's all good.
TheRealHouse 7
Just apologize and explain that you usually cum on her face but you decided to try something different. He will understand.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
bribearr 6
he's drunk. he'll forget in the morning.
FunnyVampire 2
alcohol is bad ppl ¬¬"
flyerfan101 9
wouldn't he be at the wedding?? he should kno that this day would be coming
starscouter 1
awe...sry man
jaff23 11
he probably didn't know you consummated the marriage already
sparxva 12
Brace for impact because she's definitely going to have some "daddy issues." That said, congratulations on becoming a father!
evebright 5
are you a selfish no-life asshole? do you have a job with which to support the end result of this pregnancy? cuz the psycho old man could have a point....
jcbinglis 7
You have a valid point
scs90 0
damn your father in law is a prick
Madelinexo 6
You're and adult and so is she, he doesn't have to see his grankid if he acts like a jerk.
TongueRing 1
Honestly, that's funny! I would have just laughed in that guy's face. You're adults in a happy relationship, you can have kids if you want. Assuming the guy wasn't drunk, he needs to get a grip. Every parent has to realize that their kids are going to grow up, make their own choices, have sex, ect. If you can't ever accept that then you shouldn't be a parent =/ Easier said than done, but still.