35 years-old
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML
Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
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