Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML
Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
I'm a butthole.... make sure to loudly eat medium rare steaks Nd hamburgers in front of her. at the very least kick her out of your home and let her k ow she is NOT welcome.
ImGladImNotU 16
Let's have a picnic beside her and eat beef and tuna tartare. Im so tired of other people forcing other's beliefs on others
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Comments (3)
Thaylok 17
I'm a butthole.... make sure to loudly eat medium rare steaks Nd hamburgers in front of her. at the very least kick her out of your home and let her k ow she is NOT welcome.
ImGladImNotU 16
Let's have a picnic beside her and eat beef and tuna tartare. Im so tired of other people forcing other's beliefs on others
Yudith 28
She got her hand stepped on and hot coffee all over her. I think she was punished enough.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Sure hope some of the hot coffee splashed her.
Lffayen 4
lard would be funnier
BurnInDemonFire 39
Wouldn't have happened if she wasn't an idiot.