Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
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Top comments
sacrosanct2 23
"mid-gasm" hahaha.
nycwrestler 17
You need to learn to take a hit..
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Comments (90)
HowieDoIt 21
Hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing!!
jdm_powered 6
she punched in, you clocked out.
florido_fml 10
You work to much
sens3sfailing 25
You take things seriously too much
ICastillo 25
Man you have a glass jaw. I guess no more hitting for foreplay huh. You are now officially her bitch now.
Enslaved 38
Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Hey, an ****** is a powerful thing. Sometimes you can get so caught up in the moment that you can't help but swing. *** I feel bad (that I don't feel bad, haha) for some of the battle scars I've left on my victim.
perdix 31
The songs this story brought to mind are: S-S-S-S, A-A-A-A, F-F-F-F, E-E-E-E, T-T-T-T, Y-Y-Y-Y Safety . . . Dance. and S, S, S, S M, M, M What a coincidence!
Enslaved 38
I'm gonna knock you out! Mama said knock you out! Was my next song choice. (: Are you conscious, perdix?
perdix 31
#38, why, does it look like I'm sleep-commenting again? Sometimes I mix up my saltpeter with my Ambien, and that's one of the side effects. I end up with silly comments and an intractable boner.
TML329 14
"Hit me with your best shot" came to mind
Authoress14 15
I would b laughing too if I was knocked out lol!!
kevsandy303 12
Don't worry, you weren't. Plus, you can't laugh when you're unconscious. Think before you post.
queeennnale 18
LMAOOOOOO FAVORITING THIS BITCH
perdix 31
I guess it's ironic that you're going to need handcuffs for sex. For most people, they are for S&M, but you need them for safety.
ICastillo 25
"You got knocked the **** out"!! You should have bobbed when you weaved Op.
Eorlas 31
Props to you at least for giving her one ;)
Denny1 15
Wow .. Out cold, she must b a bbw.. That's not for me
Authoress14 15
How much more ignorant could you be?!
CharresBarkrey 16
Muscle is more powerful than fat, 30.