Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
LiveLaughFML 10
it's like being nice to the weird kid and then BOOM stalked for life!
hellojpg 0
Smoking killss
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Comments (68)
aionlover 7
Should have told him 2 piss off
SteveTonyY 3
Smoking being bad for you isn't being judgmental it's a scientific fact...just for further reference...
fmluserjessica 0
Lesson- don't give lonely hobos stuff-_-
perdix 31
At first, I thought he gave you the cigarette. Listening to boring stories for hours is the going rate for a cig. Those things are ******* expensive! Now that I know you gave him the cigarette, I realize you've given too much away, like your spine and your balls.
Skee94 0
If the cigs don't kill u, the loon will.
itschrisssybro 8
He's trying to gross you out, so you'll give him your whole packet op ;) P.S. Smoking is a turn off anyway, your decision.
teenkerbelle 12
Shiiit, i wish people just gave me a cigg, i have to flirt around to get one. Its almost embarrassing. And then i have to supply my own lighter.
DustyStorm 16
WTF #10? Drunk post?
leochow9 4
Do you know that your penis will be shortened by 0.5 cm every year averagely, if you hv a smoking habit?
teenkerbelle 12
maybe its not a guy...
zembof 3
He was thanking u by giving u compony