Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
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Top comments
samomaha 17
I think the true FML here is OP's opinion of what constitutes appropriate behavior between partners. If the BF is so afraid of OP's reaction, there is a huge problem that actually needs either counseling or breaking up. In a relationship, you don't get to control the other person's behavior. That's a passive aggressive dick move. Best you can do is decide whether or not you can live with their behavior, and then adapt accordingly.
ahabsfan 17
He is a grown up. You’re not his mother. Yes, he’s also a coward for choosing that way of telling you.
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Comments (10)
ahabsfan 17
He is a grown up. You’re not his mother. Yes, he’s also a coward for choosing that way of telling you.
diraven 15
Wait until he's in a work meeting and then text him that you've decided to start shooting heroin.
samomaha 17
I think the true FML here is OP's opinion of what constitutes appropriate behavior between partners. If the BF is so afraid of OP's reaction, there is a huge problem that actually needs either counseling or breaking up. In a relationship, you don't get to control the other person's behavior. That's a passive aggressive dick move. Best you can do is decide whether or not you can live with their behavior, and then adapt accordingly.
RichardPencil 32
Prove him wrong!!! Tear him a new one while you're on the bus. During the pandemic, the other riders will probably enjoy the show, seeing how live theater has been closed down.
sarkycow 25
As someone who took the bus a lot ...we do, we enjoy hearing things like that!
genuinegoodguy 9
Go for a run with him to discuss it.
ftpallday666 16
If yelling is your first response to anything then you deserve it
bobsanction 18
Well maybe if you weren't so predictably explosive he would have told you in person.
Zebediabolical 45
I have to admire his committment to killing the whole pack. It's not easy to smoke that much.
lifeis4me 20
I think the bigger issue here is that your SO has a serious addiction, not when he decided to tell you.