Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
LiveLaughFML 10
it's like being nice to the weird kid and then BOOM stalked for life!
hellojpg 0
Smoking killss
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Comments (68)
42billybob 5
Some people are just that lonely.
ghnatliker 0
Awh, that's cute(:
angryboot 0
That's a proposal in other countries
x0SoReckless0x 7
If you give a mouse a cookie.......
smallory42 0
Well, we're smart for not smoking. Fhaag.
SaintComet 3
A little kindness goes a long way... Not for the faint of heart...
galt 13
Call the cops next time?
Hangryko 32
Why didn't you call the police?