Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Now you got 100 problems and a bitch is one
StoryOfTheYear 15
YDI?
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Comments (191)
skyeyez9 25
Good luck ever getting laid again with that sexist attitude.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
I'm guessing you're a virgin because you thought it was a good idea to use that line. If there ever is a next time, don't try to be clever and just answer the question.
StalinsHeir 1
She'll call.
vevveyouknow95 0
Not so smooth ;)
lizzypooh36 18
that's a pretty douchebag answer, whether she was hot or not..
WadeWilson_fml 6
For that answer you'd deserve to be a virgin til 50 or so. No one likes douchebags, except some slutty girls.
sparkjolt 10
Meh, if she didn't laugh, she's not worth it. I don't understand people who tiptoe around hot girls, afraid to say the wrong thing. If you say the first thing that comes to your mind, and you think it's funny, if she doesn't like it, there's not much point in dating them, as they won't have your sense of humour. Your life sucks because you got a stuck up bitch.
durkagihad 12
Hit meh!
rhiannon26 0
Hahahaha I'm sorry but that is hilarious. How could she not laugh at that?
mrjude 3
Am I legally retarded, or what?