Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Now you got 100 problems and a bitch is one
StoryOfTheYear 15
YDI?
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Comments (191)
DynamicDave 11
I just realized how appropriate my picture is for this FML.
Jesusespimp 0
It is a pretty bitching pic of the cookie monster
ilovejay1314 7
Epic pick-up line is epic. I give you +1
RedPillSucks 33
if he wants to pick up a swift kick to the nuts...
rogerusmc23 0
That only works on MTV bro.
crazyfella 0
Ladiesman!!!
tpike1296 11
Your pic is also very appropriate for this particular FML.
horrorfreaknj 1
I'm assuming "being socially awkward", "suffering from slight mental retardation" & "parents regret not having me aborted when they had the opportunity" ARE some of those 99 problems, however.
RockinRoyaltyxD 13
Why would u even say that? Your a total dumbass and completely and truly ydi.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Hahahaha
jessica232011 0
I got 99 problems but a douch ain't one
dartzli 3
Took this made my day. Lmao I fwaking love you dude this shit had me dying. Lmao
gabrielbaby 9
What?
kayaker83 4
I'm sorry..... Wtf are you trying to say?
TipOfTheHat 10
You should have said "no, I was saving that title for you!" but I'm guessing you don't have a time machine, so FYL