Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Now you got 100 problems and a bitch is one
StoryOfTheYear 15
YDI?
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Comments (191)
rattusrattus 19
There is the implication that you may have a girlfriend, but that she is not a bitch. A ho, perhaps.
Hamcons 1
That's so awesome!
pyrt93 4
that's a pretty good pick up line i wish my bf was that romantic and its just shows you have a sense of humor
FranzFerdinand 18
I'm a chick, and I personally would have laughed… it was sort of clever, haha. But seriously, YDI for thinking she would find that funny though, since I'm sure even the most socially awkward of us know that some girls take that shit really seriously.
itstesshomo 2
ahahahah jokes on you!
david12z 0
You messed up there dude. You should have said yes or no and gone on from there
kirklandt 0
Why would you say that?? My bf says that to me but he says a bitch is one
maphineRAWRS 10
I'd like soneone so much more if they had that kinda humor when asking them that question? haha!
TheDoomBunny 0
True but I mean if someone's going to use a pick up line for laughs definitely use a good one haha
xxxtc_247xx 5
I'm a girl and I would have said yes.. haha XD
Rainbow_dumpster 28
That was Moronic, YDI!