Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Now you got 100 problems and a bitch is one
StoryOfTheYear 15
YDI?
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Comments (191)
White_Knightspc 0
You don't deserve a hot girl. You deserve a swift kick in the ass! !!!DUMBASS!!!
beebananaz88 0
You only say that to ugos silly!
athos1237 4
Smooth. So you just told the girl who showed interest in you that you have no interest in her.
laurenXD 1
Nice.
bubo_fml 11
Well june-yah...I say..."No Woman, No Cry!"
YourFriendSky 0
Being an attractive girl, If I were to be in that situation, I'd be laughing while saying, "Right on bro! Right on." I congratulate him, that's some funny shyt.
Locoluis 15
Forever alone
hannahroth96 0
I'm a girl, & if a guy said that to me I'd laugh my ass off.
paperdoll14 0
OP, you smooth talker you. I bet you say that to all the girls and...you shouldn't. Note: some girls may find that kind of thing funny but, even Jay Z would probably advise you to know your audience. Being that this girl had to ask if you had a girlfriend you most likely don't know her well enough to make any assumptions about her sense or style of humor.
akempf6119 3
wow looks like you really need to work on conversing with hot chicks because u made yourself look like an ass
Hunterx700 17
and you think hot chicks are any different from normal chicks?