Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someone's neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage, but I guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML
Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
Today, at a party that was pretty big, I thought it would be funny to photobomb a photo. In doing so, I slipped over and snapped my arm in. I may now have to get surgery. The good thing is I made a hell of a photobomb. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, the officers of my archery club forgot to check if anybody was behind the targets looking for arrows. I got hit in the leg. FML
Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML
Today, I went to a work event and was having my picture taken with a coworker. Since we had done karaoke together, someone said we should pose like we were singing. I held my hand up like I was holding a mic and opened my mouth. It looked like I was performing a sex act. My boss glared at me. FML
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Top comments
Lounia_fml 8
You're definitely cool now.
schwancy 2
Too bad those swords have that little ball on the end. This could have been an even better FML.
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Comments (112)
MrsLender_fml 3
Real smooth!
starile 20
Yeah, OP, you deserve it, but your life still sucks. Well, if you had really gotten hurt worse, which was a definite possibility. I empathize with seriously4
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
since no one has made the joke it it looks like it's up to me....here I go, I bet you didn't see that coming
OMJizz 0
I guess you could say his plans to look cool were foiled! ROFL nerdy fencing jokes...
Siren2 0
Poker Face
needleinmypants_fml 3
i loled familyguy. thanks
rallets 23
lmfao siren2 PO-PO-PO-POKER FAAAAACE
Link5794 18
Nothin can sabre from embarrassment now. She tried to look cool, and Now she has to épée the price. She ought to flesche out her explanation. Go ahead and lunge at me for these awful puns. I'll stop now.
Lounia_fml 8
You're definitely cool now.
unidentified_sta 5
You too
GuitarSauce 0
you too
schwancy 2
Too bad those swords have that little ball on the end. This could have been an even better FML.
PurplePeeps 0
No, see what the OP failed to mention was that the lance skewered her eyeball, penetrating the reticle and leaving them blinded. "And anotha one bites the dust!" Pachooowwwww!!
starile 20
If OP gauged her eye out??
SirSantpoort 0
13 - You are such a nerd. Just look at your comment.. "And anotha one bites the dust" ? Come on.. How old are you? 8 Or something?
brianjman14 23
3, that's only for nonelectric ones. I do fencing and my swords are electric and they don't have that ball.
TheBananaTheif 0
Also, sabres do not have the little rubber balls at the end, the point is just bent back.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#19 I see nothing wrong with being a nerd.
rttr 18
Also another on bites the dust references Queen. Queen is awesome
Lounia_fml 8
And it's probably 'cause you think you're cooler than me..
Zmeilerr 22
Well it could have been worse. You could have tried to stick it up your cats ass.
s_rose007 0
hahaha that made me laugh
firemanrob 0
atleast you didn't stab yourself in you penis ha
blacklily0103 0
what penis? she's a chick
firemanrob 0
haha oops x) rephrase "vag"
theblackpoop 0
it's ****** dofus
Nonon_fml 0
well if u wanna get technical its possible.....
blacklily0103 0
what a klutz!
FrogOnEcstasy 2
YDI for being on the fencing team.
Zmeilerr 22
Obvious troll is... Oh, what's the use.
FrogOnEcstasy 2
I'm serious.
Zmeilerr 22
Well that's your opinion. There's nothing wrong with being on the fencing team. Maybe he/she loves fencing?
FrogOnEcstasy 2
His/Her opinion on fencing does not change mine, which is the basis for my comment. Furthermore, your opinion that there's nothing wrong with being on the fencing team has even less to do my own opinion. However, I must admit I am flabbergasted at the way you engineered that opinion three-way.
YacobZuriaw 0
Lmao
dogpup4 23
Frog is a smartarse prick. Probably thinks hes really clever.
champloo_fml 0
And let me guess you think wrestling is cool
hairt 4
is the sabre okay lol just kidding
EffinAhole 0
not funny
rattusrattus 19
Congratulations, you must feel accomplished.