Artic
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anne
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
wtf
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
FML
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
littleguy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Anonymous
Burwood, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
phloston 0
Get a smaller phone.
510munchkin 0
nd it mattrs if she luvs him y
86ed 4
You do realize that your ****** canal is probably only 3 inches deep? So in reality he would be .5 inches bigger than needed. That is unless you've given birth already. So how about you stop being a **** and be happy you have a man that you love and loves you back, mmkay?
Calyx_fml 22
He's good for anal.
greatdane2119 0
use the phone
womblebat 2
Wait, if you've never seen it erect before, then you musn't have neen with him for very long. Hardly long enough to call him the love of your life. Lets hope he knows how to use it. As long as he satisfies you, it shouldn't matter, right?
Kendros 1
have fun cheating
Alpinedriver87 0
guess you dont have to worry about gagging OP.
Hard1k 0
hahahah lmao!!! das too funny!! XD my 2yr old lil bro is prob bigger dan dat haha..btw how old is he?
kemando 22
and your cellphone doubles as a vibrator. ;)