Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
That's that, then
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML
Foundations
Today, I caught the woman I’ve been dating for a few weeks in bed with my brother. We’ve not had sex yet. If she wanted a relationship with him, why not say so instead of wasting my time? This truly feels like I did the work digging the trench, but my brother got to lay the pipe. FML
Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Keep it in the family
Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML
Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
At least you know how much of a scumbag she is now instead of later.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Don't worry, 58, you're still a douche bag.
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Comments (147)
Feklfekl2222 32
At least you know how much of a scumbag she is now instead of later.
auriane_fml 19
Don´t forget the brother. What kind of brother would have sex with his brothers girlfriend.
lebronesque73091 12
I hate reading fmls like this. Sorry about that. I bad girlfriend and a worse brother.
Heinousness 0
Touché , 52. Why are people so stupid? Stick to your lent resolution. Shame on you, OP's girlfriend. SHAME!!!
Lrs614 3
EX girlfriend I hope. Lol
YourAFailmod 4
Damn sorry bro.
DocBastard 40
Maybe calling OP "bro" isn't the best idea right now considering the circumstances.
nofearjenshere 12
Pun intended?
Heinousness 0
I don't think it was, 51. Damn sorry for OP.
ladyLALAA 29
I am also sorry OP, this would really suck. Karma baby, keep your chin up!
ashl123 19
Tell her you gave up monogamy for lent
ghirahim 5
I SPANK MYSELF
br0ccoli 15
Y so angry? Lol
Siena5687 4
I made my brother read it. I spank myself
SadDashie92 3
Wow what a b*tch.
Heinousness 0
Any need for the asterisk (*) in the place of the I in bitch? I don't know if it even has a t in it.
QueenQuay77 10
Better Hope that bitch ain't pregnant then it really would be bad and very awkward. Then you really would be like the people on the Maury show
Mearemoi 14
Um, no, 'it' DOES have a 't' in it, last time I checked.
Heinousness 0
I hate people who do this to me, 142.
its_so_ironic 5
That's so tight I wouldn't talk to her or your brother ever again
bubbly31 0
Tight???
QueenQuay77 10
I know right. How is it tight? I don't understand, I heard tight used many ways but not how you just used it.
kerrwoof 13
From my understanding, tight means "cool or hip" also it means "close". I've never heard it used in a negative manner.
bingababe 16
Must be an Aussie thing, I say it all the time when someones done something nasty or hurtful. Or if someones being a tight arse with money or you ask them to do something and they won't. Wow I'm finding this really hard to explain without sounding like a wank!
its_so_ironic 5
we use tight in England, it's sort of like selfish, mean, horrible. I just thought that was used everywhere, sorry.
emmagillespie24 11
I would never talk to my brother againn
omarzrgz 3
Breaking off connections with a family member because of an unfaithful bitch just isn't worth it.
QuirkyCorgiLove 8
113, are you kidding? It was more the brother's fault! How could you do that to someone you're related to! It's more like his brother shouldn't have broken OP's heart and trust for some sex! I agree that OP shouldn't talk to his brother anymore.
AustinMahone_fml 3
the lent people do these days..
KiddNYC1O 22
Your brother's an asshole.
Redoxx_fml 22
I think it was in her asshole
KiddNYC1O 22
You never know...
Heinousness 0
Too funny, 20. Way to put it into an unintentional pun.
gracehi 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Catholics shouldn't be having premarital sex anyway o.0 But yeah that sucks, man. The fact that it was your brother makes it even worse. Don't worry though. Life goes on and you'll eventually find people who love and respect you.
SweetlyPsycho 4
Where in this FML does it state that OP, his girlfriend, or his brother are Catholics??? O.o
Anai08 17
Well lent is something observed by Catholics so...
The_Hitdude 12
^ Well the FML says 'for lent', so they probably assumed they were Christian/Catholic, although those aren't the only religions (if you consider the two separate religions...) that 'fast', per se... So I guess either way they made an ignorant statement.
HighGTurn 12
Lent is for Catholics, not Christians
Heinousness 0
35, just for clarification, are you catholic?
gracehi 33
21 people apparently don't know that lent is a Catholic tradition which observes Christ's 40 day fast in the desert. Other Christians may also observe lent, although it started in the Catholic church. Still, no premarital sex is a common belief among all Christian sects.
gracehi 33
BTW, other religions do fast, but they don't call it "lent." I believe muslims call their traditional fast "ramadan," for example.
coried91 28
Even the best of Catholics/ Christians give into temptation. His girlfriend is just a stupid bitch.
gracehi 33
Very true. I also agree that her cheating on her boyfriend is far worse than having sex with him as a Catholic to begin with & the fact that it was with his brother makes it that much worse. Having sex made her a "bad Catholic." Cheating made her a bad person.
gracehi 33
Although I also think it's silly for someone to fast something their religion teaches them they're not supposed to do in the first place. That's why I made the remark about the girlfriend being Catholic in my original comment.
dsmguy92 4
Catholicism is a form of christanity
aliaskis 3
Gracehi, you are correct about Ramadan. Muslims fast from sunrise to sundown and abstain from sex. It makes them very cranky, from my experience.
AFCA020 4
At least it stays in the family ;) Your brother is an ass.... And your ex a bitch Fyl dude