Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nitpicking
Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML
The writing is on the wall
Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML
Corporate logic
Today, I was called into the office and suspended due to allegations made by a coworker of poor work performance. Yesterday, I received a certificate praising my work performance. I might be dismissed at any moment. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Nice meeting you
Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my boss's words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML
Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
Yea, being subjected to unwarranted verbal rants by an unfair boss would make me reluctant to speak up, too. Is there somebody that you can appeal to? HR? His boss? Good luck, OP! No (bad) job is ever worth risking your health & sanity long-term + you might next land a job at a much better place.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
What?
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Comments (8)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
What?
Mathalamus 25
Usually means the OP is too quiet. Or has some really obvious suppressed rage. The former is likely.
EmDizzle2007 28
are you a low talker??
jbuckets_404 39
Yea, being subjected to unwarranted verbal rants by an unfair boss would make me reluctant to speak up, too. Is there somebody that you can appeal to? HR? His boss? Good luck, OP! No (bad) job is ever worth risking your health & sanity long-term + you might next land a job at a much better place.
slym12312425 9
Two pages stating you're fired and for a single issue? Take that to HR or someone above the boss because his ass is why good companies lose great talent.
NPDclusterBaware 8
Yeah, I would not want that guy as my boss.
Yudith 28
What are the other issues? Do you microwave fish? Never wash the coffee pot because you bring your own coffee? Have some kind of verbal tic, like saying "actually" every five seconds? Dress in brown with a khaki tie? Act like Dwight Schrute? Look like Dwight Schrute? Anyway, you might want to take karate classes. Karate classes are great to help you increase your self-confidence, which will allow you to stop talking in a suppressed voice and start talking in a too-loud booming voice instead. Just like your boss! Other things that might help; ditching the French lessons for German lessons, giving your daschund to ASPCA and buying a more manly dog instead (like a German shepherd), giving yourself a cool nickname, learning to ride a motorcycle and going for joy rides at night with your fellow karate class students.
Bogrbon 27
I’d call that exhibit A for the wrongful dismissal lawsuit. Seriously, he just gave you two pages of ammunition to sue, especially if it’s a rant, so it’s likely not been policed or passed by legal or HR. (In fact I doubt they’d have either in a company if they allow dismissals like that.)