Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
Today, after a very harsh argument from my mother about her not seeing her grandchild enough, I decided to vent out my rage in a text to my friend. It wasn't until after I sent the message, that yes, I sent that message to my mom FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Who knows, she may actually give you some good advice and help you through your issues. Just because she's your mother doesn't mean she can't help you.
jayceejaco 15
Talk about awkward..
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Comments (74)
aboelmagd 18
Can't wait to read the FML after this dinner.
blcksocks 19
Awkwardly eating the salad when she suddenly goes "you know when your dad and I first consummated ..."
challan 19
You may be embarrassed now, but I bet your mom gives you some good advice.
DocktarNick 9
Hey, you never know. Maybe she will give you some good tips? Maybe even bring up her own sex life!
kee_breezy32 34
that's something you never should discuss with your children.
hcollins1 18
I'd have to agree with #35. Why would you even want to think about your parents sex life? I had a trainee manager one day ask me how my parents had sex (my dad is physically disabled because of the Air Force). Lets just say the next time I saw my GM and DM, trainee was never to be seen or heard from again.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Friends are assholes.
Axipiter 24
Did you fall off a ladder or something?
TheLittleBear 19
Not sure OP can blame their friends for that one...
perdix 31
I hope you serve sausages and tuna tacos. Using those, your mom ought to be able to give you some valuable coaching. Maybe cook up some pork bung if you're kinky ;)
HeartOfLead 24
Oh Apple products, the way you keep people connected is remarkable!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
As much as I hate the corporation, their commercials are damn amazing.
perdix 31
#37, that's funny. I love the corporation and hate the latest crop of commercials!
buddy51 23
"Today, I read in gruesome detail a bunch of disgusting text messages describing the bizarre sexual practices my daughter engages in with her BF, her many demented friends with benefits, and her pony! I'm supposed to have dinner with her tomorrow!! FML!!!"
LtBrenton 16
Today, we learned not to sign multiple devices in on the same iTunes account unless they're OWNED BY THE SAME DAMN PERSON, IT'S NOT HARD PEOPLE.
xx000o 27
Act like it never happened, if she raises the subject feign shock.