Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MDoremis 38
Mmm, protein.
sparkledoge 29
I didn't know Bear Grylls had a roommate !
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
jake131000 21
Your roommate kinda sounds like a psychopath... Be careful
cuz803 46
A psychopath for earing?
_EnderDoge 22
Why're all the comments getting deleted?
KingSquisher 13
Warning, mentally unstable individual detected. Please remain calm. Candies with insects on them are the work of the Ultra Super devil. Probably request a new roommate for...uh, hygiene issues.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I have no issue with people eating insects, it's a source of protein, but the way your roommate is doing is simply disgusting and unsanitary.
trollcrusher 17
I guess it's alright to partake in ants if it floats their boat, but I can't imagine eating ants for extra protein... you'd have to eat a massive number to get a boost of dietary significance, say 10-30 grams. That just makes me cringe. And even if you did want to sit down to eat that many, it would either take forever, or you'd have to shove a writhing mass of little bodies in your mouth... okay, I could go on, but I'd rather stop the imagery there. I definitely wasn't meant for ant-eating.
mikepzz 27
O..o
Startled_Toenail 21
Mmmm just-a like-a mamma used to make-a (Italian accent)
lusanna 19
And I'm guessing from your title you signed a year's lease...
tylers52 12
Spicy boi
puppies4life 10
******* run dude
species4872 20
That's terrible, he should at least put them on a plate first.