Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
'confronted her' sounds like the argument was gonna happen. Why confront and not just ask her or talk to her? she should be able to have a vibrator and not hide it. but she also needs to communicate if she isn't happy in bed.
real life problems 26
Theres nothing wrong with your girlfriend using toys. You however sound insecure in your ability to satisfy her, which isnt helping anyone.
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Comments (51)
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
time to step up if she can speak during a screw your not doing it right
chosha_fml 27
Confronted her? She hasn’t done something wrong. Why don’t you park you accusations and ego and ask her to explain what you can do to help her come more when you have sex? And even if you made her come every time, it still wouldn’t be wrong for her to use the vibrator sometimes. That’s up to her.
PhoenixChick 26
"her only argument" ? Why would she need an argument? She should have just said "I wanted one" and kicked your ass out. Even if you guys are monogamous you don't own her ******.
Sophia Lorraine Valerie Mus-Talbot 3
You two obviously just aren't VIBING 😂
MikuandKaito 24
Why do you make it sound like she's cheating on you? She has the right to pleasure herself.
PennyLane27 32
I hope she reads this and realizes you posted it. Hopefully she'll have a wake-up call. Then she can find a real man that doesn't flip out about a vibrator and go whine about it to the internet like HE'S the 'victim.' Ain't nobody got time for this shit!
Hamish123 3
Jeez! Two things: 1) she can do whatever the hell she wants, and 2) you need to learn how to go down on her. Today is a good day to start learning
WeirdUS 30
Sounds like she got it because you couldn't do it. Sounds more like you are the guy that doesn't put the effort in to make your girl cum. That being said, a vibrator should be cool. You can **** her and tease her at the same time. The more ways you can please your girl should be a plus. That being said if pleasing requires a hardware store to do so, maybe rethink things.
campdude90 15
Yeah... a guy did that to me last week and I was soo much more appreciative compared to the guys that just cum and go
cptncuttlefish 24
You sound like a total loser Quit being jealous of a vibrator and get better in bed Also, your girlfriend is an adult who can buy anything she wants, why argue about it?
kdmittens 9
so you are allowed your **** and ********** and she cant have a vibrator?? clearly you dont know how to please your woman get your insecurities in check.. you deserved it!