Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
'confronted her' sounds like the argument was gonna happen. Why confront and not just ask her or talk to her? she should be able to have a vibrator and not hide it. but she also needs to communicate if she isn't happy in bed.
real life problems 26
Theres nothing wrong with your girlfriend using toys. You however sound insecure in your ability to satisfy her, which isnt helping anyone.
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Comments (51)
TheSminty1 17
Bet he jerks off and has a double standard
E.x. Mainey 4
Dude. get a grip (figuratively not litterally). It's her choice and you don't get to choose for her. If she said no 'slapping the salami' would you be cool with that? Say sorry, and ask how you can improve your performance. May be ask if next time you're intimate, if the toy could come out. You'll learn loads more that way than being a possessive douche.
Ammaris Raposo 6
So? Incorporate it into your sex life and stop acting like a baby.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Talk about bad vibes!
Davros 12
So tell her to bring it next time so you can watch. Whats the big deal?
cperagui 18
what's wrong with your girl using a vibrator?
mekiswrite 21
Hate to break it to you, but some guys just can't hit the right spots without a little help from a toy. It has nothing to do with you- it's everything to do with what turns her on as well as how her body is. Get over it.
Fata Morgana 1029 9
The issue to me is less that she got a vibrator, and more that you seem to feel like you own her pleasure. As for her comment that it gets her off more than you do... Either you REALLY pissed her off, or you haven't taken the time that you should to get to know her body and what she likes? And don't pull the "I'm sorry that I don't have a horse penis" thing, because I've been with a man with a smaller penis and enjoyed it. All he had to do was ask what I like and learn my body. I've heard other women say the same.
rustybucket 24
Lmao imagine dating a guy who got mad at you for having a vibrator
Rabite 28
I just imagined how the sex with him is like and it was not good.
GamerChickxoxo 16
Ya know some people masterbait.Thats not for you to confront her about.Being invasive and possessive of your partners life will only lead to failure down the road and youll be the only one to blame. ps. tell her to get the "magic wand vibe" off pink cherry.com if you cant do the job that certainly will