Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
'confronted her' sounds like the argument was gonna happen. Why confront and not just ask her or talk to her? she should be able to have a vibrator and not hide it. but she also needs to communicate if she isn't happy in bed.
real life problems 26
Theres nothing wrong with your girlfriend using toys. You however sound insecure in your ability to satisfy her, which isnt helping anyone.
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Comments (51)
OhFrnkie 5
Why did you need to confront her? What wrong with using toys?
mehimhere 11
1 you are an idot for "confronting" your girlfriend for a vibrator.. 2. that was begging for a fight because its her body 3. would you rather her be getting her pleasure from someone else? 4.i bet you choke your chicken without a second thought
Maria_Obligacia 14
It's just a toy. A supplement. It is not meant to replace you and is no threat to your masculinity. Have fun with it (carefully! don't injure her)
techleprechaun 5
You jerk it, you think she doesn't? My wife has a small drawer of toys. She used to sell them, and made decent money doing it.
Luna141998 11
It’s her body if she wants to ********** she 100% can are you trying to say you don’t jerk off? And you can’t finish her yourself so yeah her needs haven’t been fulfilled and you had no right to give her shit
Silver Kitsune 5
Just for future reference buying a vibrator is not “behind your back” Guys jerk off all the time so do girls.....in different ways, she wasn’t doing anything wrong
anonurmom 12
She didn’t even let you watch?
randybryant799 21
What do you mean secretly purchased? You do realize she doesn't need your permission for that. Right? It's quite clear why she needs it.