Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
'confronted her' sounds like the argument was gonna happen. Why confront and not just ask her or talk to her? she should be able to have a vibrator and not hide it. but she also needs to communicate if she isn't happy in bed.
real life problems 26
Theres nothing wrong with your girlfriend using toys. You however sound insecure in your ability to satisfy her, which isnt helping anyone.
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Comments (51)
nmrhog 15
Ydi for bring a possessive, controlling jackass. No one needs to ask their partners permission to buy or use a sex toy. Stop being so petty and insecure and just think at least she is using a vibratory to cum and ******* someone else instead.
Kameron Kriese 11
since when did he say that she needed his permission? it sounds like a lot of you ignorant fools are just making the assumption that he absolutely think he owns her sex life, but instead I think it's more that he feels like he should at least know when she buys something to pleasure herself that's in the same shape as his dick. no one ever said she couldn't just use her hands just like most men.
Rabite 28
I always tell my boyfriend when I buy a huge cucumber for salad. I think he needs to know.
adelaine782002 17
at least she's not cheating on you with another person...yet
RoadRunnerZ 13
Woman say size doesn’t matter but have a meet a woman with a three inch vibratior
Kristoffer 35
YDI for having a problem with this.
Linda Mau 10
as someone who did this... GOOD FOR HER. Men if you ain't satisfying us be glad they invent toys that can
Tyracire 2
No one deserves to be treated like that, even more if it comes from your partner...
Squidgegg 4
Why did you need to 'confront' her? It's none of your business. How insecure are you, christ. She shouldn't need an 'argument'.
kdragonrose 12
Why is it okay for guys to jerk off as much as they want, but if a woman uses a vibrator, its instantly imasculating? Why do men feel so threatened when a woman masterbates?
moonmoon 5
Confronted? Argument? Hunny it’s a vibrator, not a side bitch. You’re the issue, not her.
MitiMiki 16
I've got news for you laddie... women use vibrators. It's nothing to get hung up on. Be a man and use it on her. She'll thank you and it'll spice thing up. You're welcome.