Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and for the past week, my apartment has had a terrible smell, and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. After tearing the place apart, I discovered the culprit: an old banana peel in my purse. I’d been carrying it around with me everywhere, including to work, and on a date. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to wait at my new place for some furniture to be delivered. When I got the notification on my phone, I checked the cameras and saw her pressing her sweaty armpits against multiple surfaces. When confronted, she said she was using pheromones to “mark her territory.” WTF? FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
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Top comments
hotshot2626 9
Am I the only one wondering how someone goes about conditioning another person to be turned on by the smell of bananas?
CrissyyyS2 22
Bananas for bananas, makes sense.
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Comments (128)
Epikouros 32
OP to co-worker: "Please stop eating bananas, it makes me horny." "No, I'm not gay, ?"
dragonmonkey 9
I'd like to get my banana peeled five times a day.
KiddNYC1O 22
We're sure of that.
scarllet13101 5
I put this in my favorites just for the first sentence
leadawg75 12
What? How? Lmao! How did she make you turned on by the smell of bananas?
Czech_Zidane 14
Is the co-worker at least a girl? If the co-worker is a guy... poor OP.
mamby211 5
My question is...who eats 5 bananas a day?!
RedPillSucks 33
Don't you just hate being someone's psych experiment... Unless it involves sex, of course. She did condition you using ACTUAL SEX, right? ... RIGHT?
TEAMRACHET131313 0
Your gay If you let her do this to you grow a pair and man up
Jaredspants 0
Psyhology at work. Your girlfriend deserves an award
Socomsnake 11
Hah, first thing I thought of when I read this was Pavlov's Dogs. Psychology at work right here.