Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and for the past week, my apartment has had a terrible smell, and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. After tearing the place apart, I discovered the culprit: an old banana peel in my purse. I’d been carrying it around with me everywhere, including to work, and on a date. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to wait at my new place for some furniture to be delivered. When I got the notification on my phone, I checked the cameras and saw her pressing her sweaty armpits against multiple surfaces. When confronted, she said she was using pheromones to “mark her territory.” WTF? FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
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Top comments
hotshot2626 9
Am I the only one wondering how someone goes about conditioning another person to be turned on by the smell of bananas?
CrissyyyS2 22
Bananas for bananas, makes sense.
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Comments (128)
munchy22 5
Well OP I don't know what possessed your girl to do this but at least you can watch Bananas in Pajamas and look at it as ****.
Kennuckle_fml 6
I didn't know that was possible. Thanks for a new fun fact.
knoxxx 22
Anyone else concerned about how constipated OP's coworker must be from eating at least 5 bananas a day?
mehwhocares 9
Quite the opposite, in fact.
CharresBarkrey 16
I find it amazing that this comment was posted, even though there is a comment above saying that bananas are natural laxatives.
knoxxx 22
Despite the extreme credibility of comments on FML, bananas are only laxatives when fully ripened and eaten in small quantities. If you eat unripened bananas or large quantities of bananas, they cause constipation. It's amazing how quick you people are to assume that the comments on here are entirely factual. That being said, maybe you should do your own research and come to your own conclusions when you're curious about things.
Oliver_Bento 3
Mangos get me goin.
pipinya 8
I can see why you'd find the smell appeeling,
Lauren85 4
Your co-worker eats 5 bananas a day? That's just weird in itself.
Calingaladha 21
Best example of the Pavlov idea that I've ever read.
ohjoy15 33
If it gets too out of hand, maybe try telling her you're allergic to bananas. Then politely ask if she could eat them when you're not around.
mosquito19 14
wow, you're as smart as a trained monkey.
1upkid 0
**** 'em, yolo?