Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and for the past week, my apartment has had a terrible smell, and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. After tearing the place apart, I discovered the culprit: an old banana peel in my purse. I’d been carrying it around with me everywhere, including to work, and on a date. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to wait at my new place for some furniture to be delivered. When I got the notification on my phone, I checked the cameras and saw her pressing her sweaty armpits against multiple surfaces. When confronted, she said she was using pheromones to “mark her territory.” WTF? FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
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Top comments
hotshot2626 9
Am I the only one wondering how someone goes about conditioning another person to be turned on by the smell of bananas?
CrissyyyS2 22
Bananas for bananas, makes sense.
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Comments (128)
dogpfcorn 11
This day is bananas....B-A-N-A-....screw it too lazy to finish
mimiminx 23
I really don't understand this FML. Whose co-worker? His or hers? Neither makes sense!
Brenda37 13
His coworker. Because OP's girlfriend managed to get him turned on by the smell of bananas and his coworker eats bananas everyday, it is an FML. It really wasn't that hard to figure out...
mimiminx 23
Why would she get him conditioned to the smell of bananas? It doesn't even make sense...
mimiminx 23
Sounds hilarious...
zecha_fml 1
Mimininx you seams like no fun at all! Beside english is not my first langage and I still manage to understand that fml...
mimiminx 23
Yep, you're right! My idea of 'fun' does not include performing random experiments on my boyfriend so he's walking around with a boner due to smelling fruit. What a killjoy I must be :/
ksuth 25
You're too serious. Just stop.
skullofdarkness 18
No **** Alan, but I officially love you, just for that comment. XD
LadyEmi 15
Sure it does, learn to read...
ICastillo 25
Well Op you're going to have a hard day at work dealing with that.
egrace 4
Lol
FalconWhitaker 20
Wow. Talk about awkward. How about bringing in some liquid menthol and some tissues and every time your co-worker goes for the banana, squirt some on the tissue and breathe it in. That way, you can hide from the scent and avoid most of the reaction, and if anybody asks what you're doing, you can claim allergies/a cold/non-specific nasal congestion without looking like a weirdo.
Ugi 27
Your girlfriend is an evil genius!
Etchles 2
Your co-worker realizes bananas are a natural laxative?
CharresBarkrey 16
All raw fruits are. Anything with fiber is as well. No reason you should stay away from them. You'd be limited to a very small diet, and most likely constipated.
EyesofStone 27
Yes, but five a day? That's a bit much. One might say... it's bananas.
laurbear87 8
Five bananas a day? Isn't that a bit much?
nancyschmancy 9
That is what I was thinking. Who the heck would want to eat 5 bananas a day?
gingerrrr88 11
Hyperbole maybe? Haha I don't know, just a thought
green2go 14
A monkey
catkat1988 17
Haha, your girlfriend is an evil genious. Does she study psychology? This definitely sounds like something a first-year psych student would try.
Enslaved 38
Is that a banana in your pocket? I once read that the smell of pumpkin pie was the most powerful turn-on for men. Especially, when mixed with the fragrance of lavender. Who knew? :P
mbuck87 19
Is it true though?
honestjane 22
I remember reading the same thing years ago. It was an actual experiment and volunteers had signed up to have their brains monitored. Scientists then exposed both men and women to different scents and watched which areas of the brain the smells triggered. And yes, for some reason pumpkin pie and lavender did it for the men. Can't remember what the results were for the women. I was too busy trying to figure out how to get away with smelling like pumpkin pie. (I'm not a huge fan of lavender)
cradle6 13
^Black liquorice for women, and a couple other strange smells I can't remember.
Carlitosfmc 18
Why bananas?