Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday. She's been having problems with most of her friends besides me lately, so I wanted to do something special. I brought her a cake. Me and her were the only ones to have any. It gave us both food poisoning. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
emi_alejandra 23
More like fhl tbh
CheekyRaccoon 27
Oh boy! He must hate you with a burning passion right now.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
Zarcissa 34
A waste of good pie. Why can't you just eat it up?
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Even though this is being thumbed down, I agree. I always heard of people using whipped cream or shaving cream in pie tins for throwing into people's faces, not ACTUAL pie. It's just a waste of a good pie and more difficult to clean off of shit.
Dreamowl24 8
This comment is made even better by the fact that your profile picture is Dean Winchester.
Beeboopbeep 9
You can still eat it
tin_cup 27
I love pie!!!!
emi_alejandra 23
More like fhl tbh
stingray112 24
Until coffee became more popular, beer was the common beverage of choice for breakfast in most of the U.S.
domolovesyoshi 33
What?
emi_alejandra 23
I'm not quite sure what you meant by that
CrassKal 27
33 - yes because the distilling process killing most bacteria making it safe to consume. Same with coffee and tea that require boiling water. But I don't see what context that info has here?
lexos 16
Why would you do that?
_aPerson_ 14
YDI. That's such a lame thing to do.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
That's true. Also, how old are you OP? There's an age where this shit isn't funny anymore. If you're older than 13, you should stop doing shit like this. It's more likely to piss someone off than to make them laugh.
sturschaedel 27
Oh, wow, that poor guy! I really hope this won't leave scars. Burn scars are the ones that heal ugliest, and in the middle of the face that is really bad. Way to ruin his birthday, OP!
JustThatPerson 21
They were drunk, right? Were you the only one sober? WHY DID YOU LISTEN, AND DO IT TOO!??
Tripartita 45
"While /everyone/ was wasted"
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
You sound like my wife when she's in a good mood.
c0ffeeb3an 15
You burn your friend's face badly and you think YOUR life sucks?
Myeyesbleed 15
right?
CheekyRaccoon 27
Oh boy! He must hate you with a burning passion right now.
brittanywashere 14
I see what you did there!
ThuNDeY 23
Was it a peach pie? If so it wasn't worth it either way.
thesmeagol 22
Who serves a pie that hot to begin with? on the other hand no one likes a dick so ydi buckaroo.
CheekyRaccoon 27
Most likely the pie was chillin' because it was just baked at 420 for about 40-50 minutes, only moments before OP decided to pie their friend.
thesmeagol 22
You let a pie cool before serving. Not out of the oven and dish it out.
CheekyRaccoon 27
My previous reply addresses both your comments. The pie was resting to cool down and OP took it before it had enough time to cool down from the 40-50 minute 420 hotbox.