Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and for the past week, my apartment has had a terrible smell, and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. After tearing the place apart, I discovered the culprit: an old banana peel in my purse. I’d been carrying it around with me everywhere, including to work, and on a date. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to wait at my new place for some furniture to be delivered. When I got the notification on my phone, I checked the cameras and saw her pressing her sweaty armpits against multiple surfaces. When confronted, she said she was using pheromones to “mark her territory.” WTF? FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
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Top comments
hotshot2626 9
Am I the only one wondering how someone goes about conditioning another person to be turned on by the smell of bananas?
CrissyyyS2 22
Bananas for bananas, makes sense.
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Comments (128)
mintypoison 22
Ah, the joys of conditioning. c: Have fun with that OP!
KN7x13st7 7
Lol love Pavlov's Classical Conditioning
Corgidan 12
Simply condition yourself to not be turned on by bananas; the conditioned response should go extinct eventually.
toofacedaddict 4
Watch out!! She's going bananas!!
cdelton22 3
Hmmmm....
sonny234 0
Who the **** eats 5 bananas a day?
TawnyAnarchy 7
Bananas? Weird.
flashback_fml 14
And how has she been doing this?
J483 12
This is the best thing I've ever heard - I'm truly sorry though.
daemonsparta 16
...why bananas?