Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, my ex-wife confessed to me that she's in love with my father and broke down crying because he's never approved of her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, I found out my now ex-girlfriend had only moved in to spite her mother, not because she loved me. Five months of falling in love, just to find out I was just being used to get back at her mom. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML
Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Keeping it within the family.
DKjazz 20
Fulfill your Oedipus complex. Kill your dad, and marry your "mother".
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Comments (296)
Freeze_fml 17
Keeping it within the family.
Midrash 5
Awkward thanksgiving coming soon...
woosah 16
Your father and ex are both ridiculous. I don't like either of them.
Freeze_fml 17
My father is not ridiculous.
woosah 16
OP's father and ex ;) Sorry freeze. You got me
Maddoctor 10
I don't understand why #9 got thumbed down...this situation IS pretty awkward.
LiyIa_fml 8
Your father and ex have some issues. I wouldnt speak to either of them if I was you. Have fun loving some girl who is sleeping with your Dad! Fantastic images.
quesidias 0
No strings attached reference? Anyone?
enonymous 9
You should bring home your ex's mom or dad and spark up a new relationship
SimpleMinds_fml 7
So true. The dad is just as much of a dick. Seriously who ******* does that?
Palirose 22
The dad most likely is the reason for the split. His ex and his father probably were doing it long before they broke up.
Anthony94_fml 7
Smask her f'cken teeth in!
Jovecove 13
Like father like son eh.
mishkaroni 15
You're probably right.
mikeyb102 0
Lol Kentucky
cindiarystrue 0
lolkward
fanceh 10
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
dani212 0
Only in Kentucky...
booboojlc 0
"Great Scott!" that reminds me of no strings attached!
madaoxsan 9
@37 that's kinda cold...sometimes you really can't choose the ones you love. luckily though, the OP can choose to hate the twat more than he loves her. Kinda balances things out a bit. Good Luck OP. And as for your dad...don't do anything drastic. I have a feeling she might do him wrong in the end. Just be supportive when that happens...he'll feel really bad for not thinking about his feelings. Just wait until he's old enough to be put in a nursing home to get back at him :]
dora2297 0
Haa that's funny lol
ndvorsky 4
I love you mom , haha , ironically true
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Ur a bad man lol
MzViKki 4
Lmao yo thats some funny shyt! I love you mom Ahahahaaa!
Joshoa123 16
how often does one get the chance to hit on his own mother? not often!
Scratch241 5
Win hahaha
Jovecove 13
'I love you mom!'... No seriously.
DrewsFML 8
Mommy mommy! Time for my sponge bath again!
je_suis_fml 11
115- your pic & that comment... very awkward.
Joshoa123 16
bad jokes are in my nature.
frank678 7
how awkward.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
slushpup9696 12
That's like saying it's only a bad idea if you admit it is a bad idea. Nope. No matter how many times I tried to explain it was a "creative" or "unique" idea, the police insist that my decision to launch a cannonball through my neighbor's window to get him to move away was a bad idea.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Well, "creative" and "unique" don't necessarily contradict "bad"... It's not the same, because "good" and "bad", while flexible, are generally not as much so as "awkward". Actually, to really argue that, we'd first have to define each of those terms, and that's where we'll run into some brick walls. ;)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Also it's not about simply not admitting it's awkward, but actually being devoid of any feelings of awkwardness. It's more possible than you might think.
nitram06 2
Let's think about this. Situations or events can inherently be certain things: sad, awkward, frightening, etc....based off the classical descriptions of each emotion.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Life is what you make of it, and so is every situation. It depends on how you interpret it. Fear and love are emotions we are born with, embarrassment (awkwardness) is something that develops later. It's a response to comparing ourselves to others. Seems like everything is getting "awkward" these days. Even just touching someone is slowly becoming socially unacceptable. Of course, OP's situation is different and very FML worthy, but you can always make it a little better for yourself and get over that awkwardness.
r6_fml 4
I agree. Let's bring back touching, especially with strangers.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
No. Let's outlaw touching in all of America, just like some public schools are already doing. Let's continue teaching our children that touching is abnormal and anyone who dares make physical contact with you wants to rape/molest/sexually abuse you. Yes, let's.
r6_fml 4
Wow, you are really serious. I think you need to watch some cartoons and lighten up a little bit. You're gonna make yourself sick stressing about everything.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
259, It's called a joke. Who's stressing? Surely it's all the people worrying about how awkward everything is and what everyone else is gonna think.
r6_fml 4
Still you apparently. Good thing you're here, I thought it was called a turnip ;). Don't take my comment the wrong way. It just seemed to me like you were fixating on all the things wrong with the world and I was suggesting you find some way to relax, that's all.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
No, quite the opposite actually. I myself questioned why the need to make everything awkward when it's an unnecessary stress that largely people place upon themselves. But that kind of stuff never comes through on the internet, so everyone ends up interpreting it their own way, which leads to countless dumb arguments about nothing. But hey I agree with you, and if it was up to me, relaxation would be mandatory to remain a citizen of the earth.
r6_fml 4
Well said
KoolKidFly 0
Wow. I skipped all of the long comments. Yeah. I recommend you don't, as I only got the people opposing shrooms.
bensharp 5
That flat out sucks.
MarThomp73 0
Sounds a lot like No Strings Attached....
lena6310 0
I was thinking that too
aruam365 24
I was too, hmm... it seems unlikely that situation would actually happen. BUT, if it's true... FYL!
Enigmax2514 7
Do I smell a beginning of an incest porno flick? No seriously I think she's in just for the money, instead of sharing half of the inheritance with you when your dad dies she figured her chances were better by marrying the old man. Don't let het give you no bullshit man
Enigmax2514 7
Don't let Her*
KK3137 31
Hmm clever! So if she were to marry OP she would only get half, but this way she gets all the money and the decision of what to do with it... very clever!
bacincheeseburge 9
They live in Kentucky, the inheritance is probably a trailer home and a non-working pick-up truck.
randomlettrrs 8
106 exactly
leh9 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah....a no. I live in Kentucky and I've never even been in a trailer and no one I know has a "pick up" truck so why dont you just shut the hell up about Kentucky and go back to where ya came from.
leh9 2
Why are you all giving Kentucky shit?!? I live in the #2 city in the US to live in and it's IN Kentucky.
Enigmax2514 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cmon guys the war has long past stop stereotyping the south man all should live in peace. when I'm diplomatic I would say smth like that when I'm in a rebellious/passionate mood I will say THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN XD but seriously both sides are nice, with the north's technology and stuff and the south's cowboys, their accents and the western heritage
doogy15 11
Still not #1 ;P
DerpyHooves 0
Or everyone could, you know, take a joke.
dora2297 0
So right lol
steven107 7
Ya'll city foke don't know how it be down in the deep south...
bamachick95 9
You tell him 106!
DKjazz 20
Fulfill your Oedipus complex. Kill your dad, and marry your "mother".
GrammaticalNazi 2
A valid, intellectual allusion...ON TEH INTERWEBZ?!?
Mekeritrig 15
It has to be his actual mother. And he shouldn't know about it beforehand.
Peanut87 0
Killjoy...
BjgUsername 12
I'm positive half the people who liked ur comment have no idea wtf ur talking about
leadman1989 16
They might not have read the literature but, I'm sure most people can infer that an Oedipus complex has something to do with killing your father and marrying your mother.
hornet_fml 0
I think you give people to much credit. Lol
jefffluffingham 5
that sounds like a genius idea. seriously, just put a load of gay **** on your dads computer. as his homepage. then ask her to google a shirt to see what she thinks of it for your dad's birthday/christmas/whatever holiday.
xdust 4
There's a good novel in here somewhere.
Po1ntBlank 0
Watch the movie No Strings Attached
Po1ntBlank 0
Watch the movie No Strings Attached
False_Stupidity 42
Ok, so now you've got a potential step mother in your future which you have dated and possibly screwed... Man, that's just covered in awk-sauce and served with ewww.
bizarre_ftw 22
Yet so many good joke opportunities arise. Such as saying: "hey 'mom' let me help you with the laundry" *pulls out her lingerie* "oh hey! I remember these!!!" *checks her out* "hey, you still got that tattoo?..." *pervy smile* She won't stick around long with him doing things like that
nessaface25 14
date her mom?
DKjazz 20
That's brilliant. OP, get your game on and seduce your step-grandmother.
bizarre_ftw 22
Ah Jerry springer's next big pay check in the making
JeremesGirl521 0
Ahaha this is too funny n what a ho