Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, my ex-wife confessed to me that she's in love with my father and broke down crying because he's never approved of her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, I found out my now ex-girlfriend had only moved in to spite her mother, not because she loved me. Five months of falling in love, just to find out I was just being used to get back at her mom. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML
Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Keeping it within the family.
DKjazz 20
Fulfill your Oedipus complex. Kill your dad, and marry your "mother".
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Comments (296)
marmots 0
Marry her mother and then give her the, " I am your father " speech :-)
ProhibitionRose 14
Ooh this is destined for Jerry Springer's special episode of "my step-son is now my step-daddy!" complete with DNA tests to prove who is really the step-mom's baby's daddy AND cat fights!
Enslaved 38
You should give your dad pointers on what her likes and dislikes are in bed.
anon_e_m00se 8
Don't just give him pointers. Do it in front of her (for the real pointers). And then later, make shit up.... and tell him that she LOVES things that honestly freak her out.
rorymallorca 0
Really horible but better find out now how she is. Turn up with a new girl and spend plenty time in their company. Watch the space. Anyhow life moves on. Your father has badly let you down. He should have had the strength and skill not to get involved. But if it is true love you would never stop it
juturnaamo 29
How she is? Who does that to their son? I like older guys, but I would never go there.
heylesha 8
72.. didnt just the other day your profile say you were 14? If you like older men at that age go talk to your middle school counsler. Cause you may have a problem.
thejedi08 10
date her mom see how she likes it!
DonovanRiddick 6
Id smack that bitch! What is wrong with her!
fromthesuck 8
I don't know about that. When it comes time to explain how he really doesn't have herpes it's kinda a story too crazy not to believe. Then we have potential for... Pity sex!!! Don't mind me I'm drunk right now
blazinjsin 5
I think a beating would be in someone's future
sticksandshit 0
What the flying ****
atarisrocks 6
There a high chance you had sloppy seconds after your dad when you was still dating her
Darklord53 0
Mommy I'm cold, can I sleep with you? Haha jk go punch her in the ovaries.
Toowoo 3
But not with your hands. Haha